The Promise
by Wamzwrites
Summary: She wanted to stop him. To scream out his name. To beg him not to go. But she didn't move. And then he was gone. A look ahead at what the next year will bring Brennan and Booth. Post season 5 finale fic. B&B.
1. Prologue

_**The Promise**_

_If you think of me._

_If you miss me once in awhile_

_Then I'll return to you,_

_I'll return and fill that space in your heart._

_Remembering,_

_Your touch, your kiss, your warm embrace,_

_I'll find my way back to you._

_If you'll be waiting._

- Tracy Chapman

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**AN: **I told myself I wasn't going to do this. I told myself that I just didn't have the time. But, my mind wouldn't stop. The finale was what it was. There is a part of me that liked it and a part of me that was just so… saddened by it. And there is this part of me; the part that needed to write this because I know what separation from loved ones is like (my husband is a naval officer). I know how it hurts. How some days are good and some days are bad. And I think that's why this one wouldn't leave me alone.

So, here it is. The prologue. And then the story begins. It's going to be multi-chaptered. It's going to be emotional. It's going to be angst filled. And I hope you stick around for the ride.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Bones. _And, season 5 finale and general spoilers for the show are within.

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_**Prologue**_

She didn't want to be here. She didn't want to be saying goodbye. She didn't want him to go into a war zone. She didn't want him to risk his life, to train others how to kill a life with one shot. But they had agreed on this. She had accepted the offer to head up the Maluku Island project. And they had toasted to change. This was what she wanted. A year away from the murderers and senseless deaths. A year to do what she loved. A year to possibly make an amazing discovery. And yet somehow as she stood beside Booth, just outside of the gate of the Fort Belvoir Army Base, it felt wrong.

She turned to him, drinking him in. The dark jeans that hung perfectly on his hips. The tight t-shirt that seemed to hug his body in all the right places. The way his body turned towards hers seemingly attuned to her needs. His warm chocolate eyes found hers and she felt the dam that she had carefully constructed around herself begin to break.

"Bones…" he whispered. His hand reached out for hers.

"Booth." She breathed, trying in vein to hold everything at bay. "If I hadn't – "

Booth silenced her with his free hand. Two fingers fell upon her lips before he spoke. "Don't. Don't play that game with yourself." His fingers moved from her lips and found the softness of her cheekbone. He cupped her cheek in the palm of his hand, caressing the tender skin with the pad of his thumb. "It isn't worth it."

She squeezed her eyes shut. "But Booth, I need to know."

"You don't. We can't change anything now." He took a step towards her, invading her personal space and causing her gaze to find his. "You can't… look Bones, there are no 'what ifs.' We both made decisions that we thought were best for ourselves."

A rebellious tear fell from the corner of her right eye. She pressed her chin down to her chest, embarrassed. "Rationally, I know you're right. I know that this is what I wanted. That I was the one that needed time. But I can't…" Her voice quivered and another tear escaped. "I don't want to lose you." She raised her chin, finding his warm stare once more. "I can't lose you, Booth."

Booth took another step forward, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her against his chest. "You aren't going to lose me."

"You're going into a war zone, Booth." She pressed her face into his chest, breathing all of him in. "Sometimes… you don't get to decide what happens."

"Hey," Booth said, tightening his hold on her. "I know that. And I know that you're scared. I know that. But, this is me. I can be a stubborn son of a bitch. You know that."

"Booth…"

"Look, I'm not saying this is going to be easy," Booth admitted gently. "I'm not saying that I'm not going to miss you like hell because I am. I've spent five years of my life with you, being with you almost daily, and now… contact will be limited. But maybe this is what we need." His hands rubbed along her spinal chord. "Maybe this will give us both some perspective."

Brennan's hands gathered the fabric of his t-shirt and squeezed it tightly. A few more errant tears fell from her eyes and landed on his chest. "You're right."

"What?" Booth joked.

"I said, you're right."

Booth shook his head, slowly loosening his arms from around her. "I know, Bones. I'm just joking with you."

"Oh."

"We can do this, Bones." Booth smiled as his hands fell away from her, leaving her suddenly without his touch, without his warmth.

"I don't want to say goodbye, Booth."

"Then, we won't."

Her brow furrowed. "But – "

"No," Booth said, shaking his head. "We'll just say… 'I'll see you later.' Okay?"

"Booth, that doesn't make sense. Saying that implies that it'll just be a brief time until we see each other again, when in actuality it's going to be – "

"A year," Booth interrupted. "I know. But, saying goodbye seems so formal. It seems so permanent. So, let's just say 'I'll see you later' because you will, Bones. You will see me in a year. And I will see you."

She nibbled on her lower lip before she pressed firmly down in attempt to keep the tears at bay. "You can't make that promise, Booth. What if something happens? What if – "

He reached into his pocket then, pulling out a medium-sized box. "I got this for you when I knew that we were going to do this." He offered the box to her. "I wanted you to have something… to have a piece of me with you while you're over in the Mapoopoo Islands."

"Maluku," she corrected, Booth's small attempt to lighten the heaviness of the situation completely escaping her. With a quivering hand she reached forward, taking the box from him. "What is it?"

Booth laughed. "Open it."

She held it in her shaking hands. A frown settled on her face. "I didn't get you anything."

"You didn't have to."

"But you got me something," she argued.

"I got you this for selfish reasons, Bones," Booth explained. "I needed you to have this so that I would feel better. So that I knew that you were protected."

Her curiosity got the better of her and with slow fingers she opened the box. A gasp fell from her lips as she looked inside. "Booth…"

"I know you don't believe in my faith, Bones. I know that it's not… something that you feel the need to have in your life. But I've had this for years. I've worn this for years. And now I want you to have it."

She fingered the necklace that held Booth's St. Christopher pendant on it. "Booth, I can't."

"I want you to. I got the chain redone so that it looks more like something you'd wear." He took a tiny step forward; his eyes seeking hers. "Will you wear it?"

Large droplets fell from her eyes. She was unable to hold them back any longer. Her gaze remained trained on the necklace, on the pendant that Booth had given to her. "Of course I will."

One of Booth's hands moved under her chin and with two fingers he urged her chin upwards, seeking her eye contact. What he saw there startled him.

"Bones?" He asked, concerned.

"I'm just," she breathed in and out, trying to stop the sudden surge of emotions that she was feeling.

When she didn't continue, Booth tenderly began to wipe away her tears. "Are you okay?"

She tried to smile. She tried to stop the tears. But nothing worked. The small drops continued to pour out of her eyes and she felt a tightening in her chest.

"Breathe, Bones," he reminded her. "Breathe."

"I just…this means…" The words stopped coming. The emotions overtaking her brain. She leaned into him, allowing herself this moment. Allowing herself to need him, to want him.

His arms came around her broken frame, holding her closely to him. His hands moved up and down her arms, her back. They moved into her hair, gently stroking her brown strands between his fingers. Neither of them moved. Neither of them said a word. They just stood, holding on urgently to each other as if they were trying to imprint this feeling in their brains.

After a few minutes had passed, Brennan pulled away. Her fingers latched onto the necklace and handed it to Booth. "Will you put it on?"

Booth swallowed. "Of course."

And as his hands grabbed the necklace, she turned, putting her back towards him. Slowly, he brought the necklace around her head and placed it on her chest before locking the clasp in place. Brennan's hand trailed up her body until it landed on the pendant that now rested on her chest, near her heart. She turned back around, facing him once more.

"I won't take this off."

Booth smiled through his sadness. "I'm glad."

She held the pendant inside of her closed fist. "What about you? Do you have one?"

"I have one," he nodded. "I'll wear it. Every day."

Her hand released the pendant and sought out his. "Booth, if I had the words…if I could – "

"Don't," Booth interrupted. "Don't question yourself. You will find what you're looking for. In your work and within you. And after this year… we can talk."

"I didn't realize it was going to be this hard," she admitted, her hand squeezing his.

"It's okay," Booth said. He looked at his watch, the numbers it shown back to him reminding him of how much time had passed. "I have to go. I need to check in."

"I know."

"I'll try to get out and see you one more time before your flight tomorrow, but I don't know if – "

She reached upwards, cupping his cheek in the palm of her hand before she titled her head towards his and pressed a soft, quick kiss on his cheek. "I know you'll be there if you can be."

"Just promise me, Bones, promise me that you'll be careful."

Her hand fell from his cheek. "Only if you do the same."

"You know I will."

"And I will do the same."

Booth reached forward, pulling her into his arms one last time. "I will miss you, Bones."

"I will miss you too," she said into his chest. "Just remember your promise."

He pulled away, placing his own tender kiss on her cheek before their bodies parted. "And you remember yours."

She reached up and grasped the pendant in her hand. "I will."

She watched him as he reached down and grabbed his bag. She watched as his body rose and met hers one more time. This was it.

"I'll email you when I get the chance," Booth said. "And…you know whenever I can I will try to contact you."

"As will I."

"Okay, Bones," Booth said softly. With his free hand he reached out and grabbed hers one last time, squeezing it firmly in his. "I'll see you later."

She tightened her own grip on his hand. A fresh batch of tears pooled in her eyes. "I'll see you later, Booth."

He released her hand and turned, unable to wait any longer. And she watched as he showed his ID to the gate guard. He turned to face her as he waited and then the guard handed his ID back. Sad smiles graced both of their faces before he turned and walked into the base.

She remained still, watching him move. Illogical thoughts filled her brain. She wanted to stop him. To scream out his name. To beg him not to go. But she didn't move. And then he was gone. Her heart clenched. Her chest heaved. And she angrily swiped at the tears that had begun to fall from her eyes. With one hand she reached up and grabbed at the pendant again, and wondered if this is what love felt like. If this pain she felt in her chest, if this desire she had for Booth to stay, was what love was. She wasn't sure and Booth wasn't here to tell her, but she was going to find out. Because she knew that if she could love someone in that forever kind of way that Booth had told her about, it would be him. He would be it. He was the only person that could be it.

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**The idea for this scene came from speculation over the necklace Brennan was wearing in the airport scene. I know that it may be the same necklace from episode 5x6, but I'd like to think that they had a real goodbye before the airport scene and that Booth offered her something like the St. Christopher pendant. **

**Thanks for reading. Like it? Hate it? Want more? Let me know. **


	2. Chapter 1: The Plane

_**The Promise**_

**AN: **So, really quickly I just want to thank everyone for reading and give a special shout out to all of you that reviewed. You guys made my day yesterday.

With that said, I hope you enjoy this next part. Things are just getting started now.

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**Chapter 1: The Plane**

The skin on her hand burned. She knew that it was impossible; that nothing had physically happened to her hand to make it ache the way it did now. Except for Booth. Except for his warm hand grasping hers one last time before they parted ways for an entire year. She held her hand in front of her, staring at it as she sat in her first class seat. The man beside her ignored her. He read his newspaper and pretended like she didn't exist and that was fine with her. She wasn't much for small talk anyway. And right now, it was taking every ounce of energy that she had to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall again. And so, she focused on her hand. The memory of her goodbye with Booth, the memory of their eyes meeting one last time, played over and over in her mind like a broken record. She wanted it to stop. She wanted to put her hand down. She wanted to stop staring at it. She wanted to focus on some of the paperwork that she had brought with her. But she couldn't. And by the time the plane had taken off she was still staring at it. Fixating on it.

It wasn't until the stewardess came over to offer her another drink that her gaze moved from her hand. The trance that she was seemingly in, broken.

"Ma'am," the stewardess said, "Would you like another drink?"

Brennan looked at the cup of water that sat beside her. She glanced at her hand that she had been staring at that now rested comfortably on her legs. "Vodka. I need some vodka."

The stewardess pursed her lips. "Straight?"

"Yes," she said without hesitation. "And with ice."

"And for you sir?" The stewardess asked the man beside her.

For the first time since the man had sat down beside her, he looked at her, giving her a small smile before replying to the stewardess. "I'll have the same."

The stewardess walked away as Brennan looked at the man, surprised. He was dressed in a suit and seemingly comfortable with flying. She wasn't an expert on reading body language, but the man had not exhibited any signs of having a fear of flying. It wasn't long before the stewardess returned, handing each of them their own glass of vodka on the rocks. Brennan looked at the plastic cup. She wasn't a drinker and even when she was it was rarely anything but wine. But on this day, she had needed something stronger, something to numb the undeniable pain that she was feeling in her heart.

She raised the glass to her lips drinking the vodka quickly until it was gone. She cringed as she put the glass down, the bitter aftertaste leaving something that was less than desirable.

"Not a big drinker?" The man beside her asked as he sipped on his glass.

She reached for her other glass, taking a sip of water before responding. "I drink. It's just not usually vodka."

"Ah," the man said as he took another sip of his vodka. "You picked an odd time to start drinking it."

Brennan's gaze fell to her hand. The memories of Booth flooding back. "I needed it today."

The man nodded, seemingly in understanding. "Rough goodbye?"

Her gaze tore away from her hand and met that of the stranger next to her. "I'm not usually this transparent." She shook her head. "How did you know?"

The man's brow furrowed. "It's written all over your face." He took the final sip of his vodka before setting his glass down. "Plus, I've had to do enough goodbyes to know a hard one when I see one."

"I'm usually not like this," she said in embarrassment. "This isn't…I mean, I just – "

"Hey, I get it," the man interrupted. "You said goodbye to someone. There are some goodbyes that I can deal with. The ones that are only for a few days or even just for the day. But every time I have to leave my wife and kids for longer than a week, it's always harder than I expect."

"Oh, I'm not married."

The man just smiled. "It doesn't matter if you're married or not. It's about the person. About the relationship. It's about what you're leaving behind for however long you'll be gone."

Brennan glanced down at her hand again while considering the man's words. Booth was her partner. Her best friend. Yes, Angela was her best friend as well, but Booth…there was something more to it than that. He had taught her about social norms and she had taught him about science. He had given her so much. Her heart twisted. A question spun in her head. Had she given him anything in return?

She reached for her cup of vodka, bringing it to her lips, in attempt to swallow the last of the vodka.

"It's not going to help," the man said knowingly.

She put the cup back down, frustrated. "I'm sorry I'm just not used to feeling like this."

"Completely out of control?"

She shrugged. "I guess that is a good way to describe it."

"Can I give you some advice?" The man asked.

"I suppose that would be alright."

"This is the worst part," the man explained. "The leaving part is always the hardest. Second to that are the first few days. But this part… if you can make it through this part you'll be okay. And then after that first week, you just have to take it a day at a time. Every day won't be easy and every day your emotions won't be the same. Sometimes you'll be angry and you'll have no idea why, but it's normal. Everything that you feel will be normal." The man glanced down at his left hand, his thumb toying with his wedding band. "It's in our times apart that we can find what we truly love about another person. It's also in those times that you can realize just how deep your connection is."

Brennan stared down at her own left hand; the one that Booth had held so tightly in his. Her right hand reached for the pendant that rested on her chest. She squeezed it tightly in her palm, suddenly needing to feel some sort of connection to Booth. "I didn't know that it would be like this."

"Like what?" The man asked, confused.

"So," she stammered. "Devastating."

The man nodded. "It's normal."

"He's my partner." She breathed.

The man smiled at her. "That's the way it should be."

Brennan's brow furrowed in confusion. "The way what should be?"

"Your relationship," the man clarified. "It should be a partnership."

"We work together," she explained. "We aren't romantically involved."

The man frowned. "Could have fooled me."

She turned away, embarrassed. She shouldn't be having this conversation. She didn't even know this man's name and they were talking about issues that she wasn't even prepared to deal with. Emotions that she wasn't prepared to admit that she was feeling.

"Look," the man said. "I know it's none of my business. I don't even know your name," he laughed. "But, for what it's worth. Whoever you just said goodbye to, whoever it is that has you drinking vodka straight up, isn't just your partner."

"You're right it is none of your business."

"I'm sorry, I – "

"No," Brennan said, shaking her head. "I apologize. I'm just… I'm not prepared to deal with this. I left because I needed some perspective. I needed time away from the line of work that we did together. And now, I'm just not sure I made the right decision."

"I've been in your place before," the man admitted. "I've had your doubts."

"And what did you find to be the solution?"

The man just smiled at her, shaking his head. "There is no one solution. No right or wrong. I did what you did. I ran away – "

"I'm not running away," she defended.

"You are," the man argued. "You are running. And you are just choosing to use another reason as your explanation for leaving."

"I'm a very important person," Brennan snapped. "I'm heading a project in the Maluku Islands that could have strong implications for evolution and – "

The man raised his hand, silencing her. "Look, I get that you've got something taking you somewhere. But isn't it also a possibility that you were starting to feel too much, or that things were just becoming to confusing, so you ran away?"

"I don't run," she denied. "I wouldn't do that to Booth."

"You probably aren't doing it intentionally. Whatever your reasons are, you probably think that they are of the best intentions. But this…" He moved his hands in front of him. "Being a plane, leaving your partner behind, it should tell you that something has changed."

"I know that things change. It's a part of life."

"But in your relationship with your partner. Something changed. Something in your life has made you need to gain some perspective," the man said softly. "I hope you find the perspective that you're looking for. Or even, the solution to your problem."

Her hand fell away from the pendant. "I have to find something."

"You will," the man reassured her. "Just when it hits you – and it will – remember this conversation."

"Why?"

"Because it'll help you some of questions that you're asking yourself right now."

Brennan clasped her hands together, needing to feel something other than the ache in her chest. She glanced at the man beside her out of the corner of her eye. He seemed intelligent. He seemed like he had a good grasp on social cues… and love. He seemed to get it. She only hoped that one day she'd get it too, for her sake and for Booth's.

She extended her right hand to him finally introducing herself. "I'm Dr. Temperance Brennan."

The man beside her shook her hand. "James Schmidt."

Silence fell over them after they had finally introduced themselves. Brennan closed her eyes, needing everything to stop. She needed to stop the tingling in her hand, to stop the rapid beating of her heart. She needed to stop the ache that seemed to be spreading all over her body. She had never felt this way before. No goodbye had ever made her feel so out of balance. Was it a sign? Was this part of the perspective that she was hoping to gain?

She took a deep breath, feeling the metal pendant rise and fall with her chest. She didn't know what any of this meant. Confusion was not something that she was used to, and yet ever since Booth had kissed her, ever since he had wanted to try for more and she had turned him down, she had felt different. And now, as she sat on this plane, flying across countries to do what she loved to do, she felt that loss.

She missed him. She had never missed anyone before while working. It was different. Something had changed. She had changed. He had changed her. And now, she missed him.

Fresh tears pooled in her eyes. She turned away from James, so that he wouldn't see, and let them fall. Her heart could have this round.

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**Thanks for reading. Like it? Hate it? Want more? Let me know!**


	3. Chapter 2: Day Three

_**The Promise**_

**AN: **So, I had a minute… well, that's not completely true. I am distracting myself. Big time. So you guys get this.

To all of you that reviewed, I think I was able to reply to most of your reviews, but for the ones that left anonymous reviews, I can't thank you enough. You guys have to know how much the reviews help me keep going and keep writing, which ultimately gets all of you updates faster.

To Neen and Apes, thank you for your continued support and encouragement.

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**Chapter 2: Day Three**

Two days ago she had finally made it to the Maluku Islands. Between the plane ride and the other resulting forms of transportation to get them to the islands, it had ended up taking them a little over a day to arrive at the actual site of the project. And now two days had passed and she still couldn't stop thinking about Booth, about his final words to her, about their last touch. In a few days, he would be headed to Afghanistan. He would walk inside of a war zone to train other men to do the job that he had done successfully years ago. And she didn't want him to be a hero, to do what he would normally do. To step in front of a bullet for another person. To act without thinking. She didn't want him to have to take another life, to add another person to his count.

Worry festered in the pit of her stomach. It had been 3 days and she found herself barely able to control her spiraling emotions. She didn't feel like herself. She felt emotional and irrational. She felt illogical instead of logical. None of it made any sense to her. And Booth wasn't here to explain it to her. She was lost.

"Dr. Brennan?"

Brennan turned to towards the sound of Daisy's voice. She cleared her throat. "Yes, Miss Wick?"

Daisy stood just outside of Dr. Brennan's small hut. "Can I come in?"

Brennan closed her eyes. When she had taken this job she knew that it was going to take patience with Daisy. Everything with her had always involved patience. And tonight, Brennan had been hoping to find some time to finish settling in, to find some time to breathe.

"Yes," Brennan sighed heavily. "But only for a moment, Miss Wick. I have some other matters that I need to attend to."

Daisy pulled on the screen door and slipped inside of Brennan's hut. Brennan turned and faced her. A look of annoyance flashed across Brennan's face.

"What is it, Miss Wick?"

"Don't you think you should call me 'Daisy' now?" Daisy asked.

Brennan frowned. "Excuse me?"

"I mean, we're here, together. We're doing this project together. We're not at the Jeffersonian right now," Daisy explained. "Do you think that you could call me 'Daisy'? I just don't want to be perceived any differently than the others."

Brennan gave Daisy a hard stare. "I am well aware that we are not at the Jeffersonian right now."

"Oh," Daisy breathed. She stepped further into Brennan's hut, invading the small space that Brennan had. "I didn't mean - " She stopped abruptly, taking a deep breath before starting again. "It's just in the meeting yesterday you called the other anthropologists by their first name and I was hoping that you would bestow the same courtesy on me."

"I will do my best," Brennan said, her hands settling on her hips.

"That's all I really needed to say," Daisy said, taking a step backwards awkwardly. "I guess I'll see you bright and early tomorrow!"

"Yes, Miss – " Brennan stopped and looked at Daisy pointedly. "Daisy. I will see you in the morning."

Daisy flashed Brennan a bright smile before she scurried out of the room, leaving Brennan alone inside of her hut once more. Brennan took a few steps forward and closed the main door to her hut, suddenly feeling the need for extreme privacy. She didn't want any more interruptions tonight, or any more random questions from her staff. Tonight, she just wanted it to be her, because tomorrow the project began and after that, the word "quiet" would cease to exist in her world.

Slowly she moved around her hut, taking in her surroundings. It was small. It was simple. It was something that she had missed about being out on digs. This small space was hers. And as she worked with her team to uncover possibly one of greatest findings in anthropology and in the history of the world, this place would always be hers. This would be her safe haven; her place of refuge when the days wore on. And she knew they would. There were always patches of days when everything seemed tedious and like nothing was being accomplished. But this was what she wanted. She wanted to be a part of this project. She wanted to leave the Jeffersonian for this. She wanted to leave her partnership with Booth for this. She wanted this. And she knew that all she needed to tell herself on those days was those three words. She wanted this.

Outside she could hear her team, a swarm of intelligent anthropologists, talking, enjoying each other's company. She knew that she could be out there with them; that being head of the project didn't exclude her from such events, but she didn't care. Being with people wasn't something that she was interested in right now, or, maybe it was just that she didn't want to be with any of those people.

Her hand drifted to the pendant that remained on her chest. She squeezed it tightly, needing to feel some sort of connection to Booth. There was still a dull ache in the pit of her stomach. She knew what it was. She had experienced it before when her parents had left her and Russ and never returned, when Booth had supposedly died. She was missing him. And it wasn't just one thing that she was missing about him. It was everything. They way he called her "Bones." They way his hand rested on the small of her back as they walked and went through doorways. They way his eyes seemed to always find hers at the perfect time. It was all of it.

Her body slammed down onto the one chair in her hut in frustration. She didn't want to feel this way. She wasn't supposed to feel this way. This was Booth. This was her. She was a scientist. She had a very logical view of the world. She could not change. Except somewhere inside of her, in the tips of her toes and fingers, she felt herself changing. And being logical wasn't something that she had done in the past few days.

With her free hand she reached for her cell phone that sat on the desk in front of her. She toyed with it in the palm of her hand. She could call him. She knew that it was possible. But fear gripped her, controlling her fingers, keeping them from pressing the first speed dial button on her phone. She wanted to press it. She wanted to hear his voice, to hear him say her name. She wanted him.

It wasn't until the tears began to well in her tired eyes that she pressed down on the first speed dial button. It rang once. Twice. And by the third ring, she almost hung up. But the thought of talking to him, kept her from hanging up. It rang again. She closed her eyes. Her heart thumped wildly inside her. She had never wanted someone to answer the phone so badly. It rang again. And then…

"Bones?" Booth panted heavily into the phone.

Every muscle in her body relaxed instantly. "Booth…"

"Are you okay?"

"What? No, I'm fine. I just needed," she swallowed past the lump in her throat. "I guess I just needed to make sure that you're alright."

"How's Mapoopoo?" Booth asked jokingly.

She smiled even though she knew he couldn't see her. "Maluku, Booth."

"I know, Bones, I was just – "

"Making a joke." Brennan finished for him.

"Yes," Booth agreed. "How is it? Are you being safe?"

"Booth, you shouldn't worry about me. I'm not the one that's going into the middle of a war zone."

"I do worry about you, Bones," Booth admitted gently. "I always will when we're apart. When I can't be there to make sure you're safe."

"Booth…" Brennan breathed. "Just please, remember what I said."

"I won't forget, Temperance."

A quiet tear slipped from her eye. She secretly loved when he called her by her first name. It wasn't that she didn't like "Bones." It wasn't that she needed to be called "Temperance." There was just something about the way his voice sounded when he said her first name that made her heart beat a little bit faster. Scientifically, she knew she could never prove it. But she felt it. She felt it inside of her.

"Bones?" Booth asked. She could hear the concern in his voice.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to – "

"Bones, are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine," Brennan said as she swiped away another rebellious tear. "I'm just… I wasn't expecting to feel this way."

"Feel what way?" Booth asked, confused.

"It doesn't feel the same. It doesn't feel like it used to."

"Bones…"

"No, it's okay," she sighed. "I wanted this. I guess I just really wasn't anticipating some of the emotions that I've been feeling ever since I left."

"Emotions aren't something that you can anticipate, Bones."

"It was just never like this. I've never felt like I was leaving something behind before," Brennan admitted softly.

"Temperance – "

"No," she interrupted. "I can't feel this way. I can't miss you when it hasn't even been a week. It's not possible."

"Why isn't it possible?"

"Because, it's so… irrational," Brennan breathed.

"Sometimes feelings aren't rational, Bones," Booth said gently. "Sometimes they are out of control and they make you feel out of control."

She swiped away another defiant tear. "I feel out of control."

"I miss you too, Bones."

Her heart pounded a little bit faster. "Will I get to talk to you again before you leave?"

"I'll call you before we leave the U.S."

"And after that?"

Her eyes closed, more tears squeezing out as she waited for his answer.

"Email will be the most readily available," Booth said. "There should be some computer terminals with webcams so that's another option."

"I just don't think I could go too many days without hearing from you," Brennan sniffed.

"Temperance, it's okay to miss someone."

"I just didn't think that it would be this hard." Her free hand drifted back towards the pendant. She thumbed it gently. "I guess I don't know myself as well as I thought."

"You do know yourself, Temperance. This is different. This is something that you're learning. It's okay to not understand why you're feeling something or a certain way."

"But you're my partner, Booth. You're my partner and I can't stop… thinking about you. I don't know even what it's like anymore to go a day without talking to you."

"Bones, everything you're feeling… all of it… it's natural. You're learning something about yourself out there, and that's part of what you wanted, remember? You wanted some perspective. So, take this time and just do your work and let your body feel what it wants the rest of the time."

"I don't know if I'm capable of – "

"You are, Bones," Booth interrupted. His voice was firm. "You're doing it right now."

Her hand fell away from the pendant. "Are you ready to leave?"

"No. Yes. No," Booth waivered. "I'm not sure. There are moments when I'm ready and moments when I'm not so sure, but this helps."

"How does this help?"

"Because it's you, Bones," Booth said lovingly.

"Oh," Brennan breathed. She took a moment, glancing at her surroundings. It wasn't until her gaze landed on a small picture that Booth had given her of the two of them that she continued. "It's helping me too."

"Listen Bones, I have to go. My unit has mandatory PT in a few minutes and I've gotta get over there," Booth explained. "But listen, I will call you before I leave, okay? Just promise me that you'll take care of yourself."

"I promise, Booth."

"Okay," Booth said. "Thank you for calling. I know it probably wasn't easy for you."

"No," Brennan admitted. "But I needed it." She wanted to tell him that she needed him, but her voice stopped. He didn't need to know that. Not now. Not when he couldn't do anything about it.

"I needed it too."

She squeezed the phone tightly in her hand. "Please be careful, Booth."

"I will," Booth said. "I will call you soon."

"Okay." She felt the air inside of her begin to sink. "Goodbye, Booth."

"No goodbyes, remember? Only, I'll see you later."

She gave him a small laugh. "Right. I'll see you later, Booth."

"I'll see you later, Bones."

Her heart pounded in her chest as she closed her phone. She wanted to see him now not later. But she still had 362 days left.

8688 hours.

521,800 minutes.

362 days.

Fuck.

* * *

**Thanks for reading. I hope that Brennan's developing emotions continues to be realistic. Like it? Hate it? Want more? Let me know!**


	4. Chapter 3: Day Seven

_**The Promise**_

**AN: ** So this big test that I was taking is over, and my life can return to normal, which means that I'll be reading more… and be writing more.

Again, thank you all for the reviews. They are much appreciated and help me keeping going with this piece. Sometimes it's hard putting something that you've written that is so personal on some levels out there… but you guys have made it worthwhile.

A special thank you to Apes (.single malt), thank you for writing your piece for me (_The Traitor of the Heart_) – highly recommend it to all of you. Her writing is amazing. Pure genius.

* * *

**Chapter 3: Day Seven**

Her cell phone had been in her back pocket for the past few days, and all the while she had been waiting. Waiting for Booth to call her. Waiting to hear his voice once more. Waiting for him to tell her everything she needed to hear again. Waiting for him to remind her that this was not goodbye; that this would not be the last time that they spoke to each other. She was just waiting. Just waiting for him.

She stared at the bones that were on the table in front of her. There were no thoughts swirling in her mind that related to these bones, and yet she stood here still, looking, hoping that the mere presence of these bones would bring her back to what she was here to do. Because the truth was that she had barely been able to focus on this project, or more accurately, focus to the extent to which she was known for focusing. She wasn't making mistakes or being sloppy. She wasn't appearing to be anything less than herself, but she could feel it. She could feel it brewing inside of her. And the compartmentalization that usually happened, the compartmentalization that she could usually count on, wasn't happening. She couldn't push Booth away into a corner of her brain. She couldn't work without him seeping into her thoughts. And those thoughts about Booth made her want to stop working. They made her want to get back onto a plane and stop Booth from getting on his own plane. They made her want to hold him, to tell him that she could try to change. But her feet remained still and her body was frozen. Because even though she had those thoughts, she also had her logic. Each thought of Booth, each urge she had to run was countered with her logic. With facts. With principles. With anthropology. So, she remained still. In front of a table of bones with her mind spinning. With thoughts of Booth weaving in and out of the corners of her brain as she tried to work. With her heart, a muscle, inexplicably feeling like it was being torn.

She didn't understand. It didn't make any sense. And the bones in front of her, they just didn't matter. Not right now. Not when things were happening inside of her that she didn't comprehend; that logic couldn't explain.

Her logic was failing her and she didn't know which way to turn. So she remained frozen, waiting. Waiting for her logic to return. Waiting for something to make her move. Waiting for that moment when everything clicked.

XXXX

Hours passed. The cell phone in her back pocket remained silent. She knew that she was being ridiculous; that Booth would call when he could, but the absence of the phone ringing left her jumpy and concerned. What if Booth forgot to call her? What if he didn't have time? They were irrational questions. She knew they were. This was Booth she was talking about. He would never hurt her intentionally. He would never let her down, at least not on purpose. This was Booth.

And still, her hand wandered to her back pocket, pulling out her cell phone, checking it occasionally for a signal, or for any sign from Booth. She wanted to stop. To stop hanging on this cell phone that she wouldn't have even brought with her to her station if it hadn't been for Booth, but she couldn't. She did not want to miss his call. And she knew she was being ridiculous because it was ridiculous to hang on a piece of technology. It was ridiculous of her to be waiting by the phone for a call from a man that was _just_ her partner.

Partner. There were so many meanings to that word. There were so many ways to be someone's partner. She and Booth were work partners. They were best friends. Questions tugged at her heart. Were they more than just work partners? Was there another type of partner that they were?

She didn't know. But she knew that those questions were part of the reason that she was here now. She needed to figure it out. She needed to answer those questions for herself and for Booth, so that they could move on. So, that whatever needed to happen could happen. But she knew that the figuring out part that was going to take some time; that this part was quite possibly going to be the hardest part of all.

XXXX

Her phone finally rang in the middle of the night. She turned over in bed, her hand blindly reaching for it on her nightstand. When the skin of her hand made contact with the warm plastic of her phone she grabbed it, putting it to her ear instantly.

"Booth?" She breathed.

"Hey Bones."

Her tired eyes opened to the darkness that surrounded her. "Where are you?"

"In an airport," Booth said. "I don't have much time."

"Oh."

"It's not that I don't want to talk to you," Booth explained. "It's just we're boarding soon and I ended up talking to Parker longer than I expected."

Brennan swallowed. "I understand."

"Bones…"

"Booth, you don't have to explain yourself to me."

"Except I do."

"I don't know what that means," she frowned.

"Bones," Booth sighed. "I'm not going to push you. I gambled once. I don't know if I can do it again."

Brennan's eyes fell shut. Booth was a gambler. He took chances. He took a chance with them. He put himself out there. He opened his heart to her and she had turned him down. Out of fear. Ever since that night she had asked herself if she had made a mistake. She had asked herself if Booth had ever let her down. She had asked herself if her fear was worth this; if it was worth causing Booth pain. It took her seeing him with Catherine to realize that she wasn't sure it was worth it. Fear could be overcome. Change could occur. She just had to let it.

"I'm sorry, Booth," she whispered. "I just don't know – "

"Bones," Booth interrupted. "Let's not do this again."

"But Booth…"

"Bones, I know. You've already explained it to me."

"You aren't listening to me, Booth."

"Bones…"

"I'm trying to tell you something and you keep interrupting me," she snapped.

"I'm sorry."

Her hand drifted up her chest towards her St. Christopher pendant. She gripped it tightly in her hand before she spoke. "I'm trying to tell you, Booth, that maybe I was wrong."

"What?" Booth sputtered.

"I can't work, Booth," Brennan admitted, her voice trembling ever so slightly. "I stood at the table today, staring at the bones in front of me and all I could think about was you. I tried to compartmentalize, but it didn't work. You were there. You have invaded my brain and I can't seem to get rid of you."

"You want to get rid of me?" Booth asked, the hurt in his voice seeped through the phone.

"Booth, that isn't the point. The point is that I can't work. I can't seem to function because I can't stop thinking about you."

"Now, you're starting to worry me," Booth joked lamely.

"This isn't me, Booth. I'm not that type of girl. I'm not used to having this problem."

"Shouldn't that tell you something?" Booth asked gently.

"It does," she confirmed. "But I am still… look, I'm still trying to understand this. I'm trying to make sense of this for myself."

"There's no rush," Booth laughed. "It's not like we're going to see each other in an hour."

"Booth," Brennan whispered. "That's not funny."

"You have nothing to worry about," Booth reassured her. His voice firm and kind.

Brennan bit her lip. "But what if something happens to you? You can't guarantee that you're going to be okay, Booth."

"I know, I can't. But I promised you. I promised you that I wouldn't be me over there. I promised you that I'd come back."

"I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you, Booth," she admitted quietly. "Especially, before I was able to – "

"Nothing is going to happen, Bones," Booth interrupted again.

"You can't promise that, Booth. You just can't."

"Do you trust me, Bones?"

"I don't understand what that has to do – "

"Just answer the question, please."

"Of course, Booth," Brennan said. "Of course I trust you."

"Then trust me about this," Booth sighed. "Trust that I won't leave you willingly. Trust that if something does happen, I will fight. For you." He paused for a second before adding, "for us."

Her hand holding her cell phone trembled. "Is there an us?"

"We're partners."

"Not technically," Brennan reasoned. "At least not right now."

"You're my partner, Temperance. Nothing will ever change that."

"I like being your partner," she admitted quietly.

"The feeling's mutual."

She could hear the smile in his voice. She could feel her own smile.

"Look, Bones," Booth said gently. "I'm going to have to go in a minute. We're about to start boarding the plane and I've got to make sure these kids stay in line."

"Do you have my email?"

"Of course," Booth confirmed. "I will email you when we get to our base." He paused for a moment, collecting himself before continuing. "Just promise me, Temperance, promise me that you'll be careful."

"Booth, I already told you that – "

"Promise me," he interrupted.

"I promise." She sighed heavily into the phone.

"You know I will be too," Booth said before she had to say anything.

Her eyes drifted shut. She didn't want to do this. She didn't want this to be the last time she heard his voice in several months. She didn't want to say farewell.

"Temperance," Booth said, disrupting the silence that had fallen between them. "I just need you to know that nothing has changed. I am still the same man that gambled for you on those steps."

"Booth…"

"I told myself I wouldn't do this," he continued. "I told myself that I wouldn't make this any harder than it already was, but I need you to know that I'll be waiting for you." He took a deep breath. "I'll be waiting to see you again."

She gripped the phone tighter. Her heart understood what he was trying to say. She knew that he was making a commitment to her. To their partnership and whatever may come of it. To them.

"And I'll be waiting too," she whispered.

Booth exhaled into the phone. "Take care of yourself, Temperance."

"Don't be a hero, Booth."

"It's time," Booth sighed. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay," she agreed. "I'll see you later."

She waited for him to hang up. For the line to go dead because she wasn't sure that she could be the one to end the call. Several seconds passed before she heard Booth's voice again in her ear.

"One day at a time, Bones," Booth reminded her.

"I know."

"I'll see you soon."

A single tear dripped onto her cheek. She swiped at it angrily. "Booth."

"Yeah?"

She took a deep breath. The words spilled out on top of each other. "I miss you."

"I miss you too, Bones," he said lovingly. "I'll see you soon."

"See you soon."

She held the phone in her hand, waiting. Waiting for the sound of him ending the call to fill her ears. When she heard the click and the silence that followed, she pulled the phone away from her ear and placed it back on her nightstand before rolling over in bed. Thoughts of Booth crowded her brain. He was leaving and she was already here. Their year apart was really beginning. And so far, it wasn't going at all like she'd planned.

* * *

**Again, thank you for reading. If you have a moment, push that button and tell me your thoughts on what you'd like to see or what you absolutely don't want to see. **


	5. Chapter 4: Day 14

_**The Promise**_

**AN: ** Just a quick note today, thank you to all of you who took the time to review. I really, really appreciate it. I should have responded to all of you by now, but if you left an anonymous review, I couldn't. So, thank you.

One more note, the pace is going to start picking up now. So get buckled in!

* * *

**Chapter 4: Day Fourteen**

Two weeks had passed since she had last seen Booth.

A week had passed since she had last heard his voice.

Six days had passed since she had received an email from him.

The day his email had arrived had been two days after they had said their final farewells on the phone. His email had been short and abrupt, merely confirming his arrival in Afghanistan. He hadn't elaborated on the trip, on the conditions, or on how he was feeling. He hadn't even asked how she was. It had been nothing more than a brief note, a sentence affirming to her that he was there, safely, and that was it. It had left her feeling at a loss, like suddenly she wasn't important to him anymore, like his job had suddenly began to take precedence over his life.

Rationally, she knew it wasn't true. Rationally, she knew that he was probably just busy and overwhelmed with being back in a war zone and charge of several young men. But the irrational part of her, the part that listened to her heart more than her brain, didn't understand. That part wanted more. It wanted more than just a sentence. It wanted him to tell her that he wished they hadn't done this, that she hadn't gone to Maluku and that he hadn't accepted this job. It wanted him to tell her that he missed her because that part of her knew how much she missed him. It was the only part of herself that she would allow to feel that emotion, to feel that level of dependence on another human being.

For the past few days, she had been avoiding her computer, choosing instead to work in the field and passing off the recording of their daily findings to other anthropologists. But now, as a severe rainstorm moved through the Maluku, she was left with little to do inside of her hut. Papers were stacked beside her computer. She tried to focus on them, to organize the papers in a way that would make her report easier to write, but her eyes kept wandering towards the screen of her laptop. Twenty new emails sat in her inbox, unread. She hadn't looked at her inbox since she had received Booth's short email, and it wasn't for lack of time. She had wanted to look every day, but her brain, the logical side of her conflicted body, told her to refrain, that if she looked she'd only be further disappointment. So, she had listened. And now, eight days later, she had twenty unread emails inside of her inbox, and she had no idea who they were from. All it would take for her to find it out was a slide of the pad of one of her fingers and the pressing of a button. That was all. And yet, she couldn't bring herself to do it. She didn't want to be disappointed in Booth. She never had been before, and she didn't want to be now. Not like this.

She moved her hand away from her laptop, choosing instead to grasp at the papers beside it. She slowly shuffled through them, attempting to absorb the findings that were listed inside, but she found herself unable to care. Her gaze kept drifting upwards and to the tiny icon on her screen that represented her email inbox. She desperately wanted to click on it, to see if Booth had written any more to her, but at the same time she didn't want to deal with the disappointment if he hadn't.

She knew that she should email him back; that she should tell him that she was doing fine as well, but she couldn't. And maybe it was because it wouldn't be the truth (because she knew that she really wasn't fine). Or, maybe it was because there was this part inside of her, in her heart and in her brain, which was hurt by his short email. Logically, she knew it was ridiculous to be hurt by such a thing. He had done what he said he would do. He had emailed her to confirm his safe arrival in Afghanistan. She had never asked him for a complete report and run down of his feelings. But there was some part of her, the part that she was still discovering, that expected more of him, that wanted more of him. She didn't know what it meant. She didn't know how to deal with it. She just knew that at this moment, that part of her existed. He had made it exist within her.

Her gaze moved back to the papers that she held in her hands. She had to focus. This wasn't going to work if she couldn't focus. And so far, in the fourteen days that she had been here, she had barely been able to focus on ten of those days. The man from the plane, James, had informed her that the first week was the worst. If he were here now, she would tell him that he was right except for the fact that it was the second week, the end of the second week, and she was still struggling. Anger and sadness still ebbed and flowed throughout her during the workdays. And sometimes, she even found herself beginning to tear up over the tiniest thing like dropping a pencil. It was ridiculous. It wasn't her. She wasn't that girl. The girl that needed a man to be who she was. She was Dr. Temperance Brennan. She wasn't _that_ girl, except these past fourteen days, she sure felt like she was.

"Pathetic," she whispered to herself. "You're being pathetic."

Her hand slammed the papers down onto her desk. She didn't want to be like this for another 351 days. She didn't want to be this woman that couldn't work or function because of a man. She was independent. She was successful. She was a world-renowned forensic anthropologist. Her life did not revolve around a man. It couldn't.

Her hand moved away from the papers. It drifted upwards until her skin collided with the cool pendant that rested against her chest. She squeezed it tightly in the palm of her hand. She missed him. And maybe that was the point of all this. Maybe it was okay to feel like someone else makes you a better human being. Maybe it was okay to depend on someone else. Maybe it was okay to be happier because you are sharing your life with someone. Maybe sharing your life with someone else was the point of life.

Her gaze moved back towards the icon for her email inbox. The hand on her chest released the pendant and moved downwards. Her fingers danced across the touchpad, desperately wanting to guide the arrow to her inbox, but they remained still. The tiny arrow on her computer screen remained in the upper right-hand corner of her screen, while her fingers rested gently on top of the touchpad. Her emotions battled within her. Disappointment or relief. Those were her choices. There would either be another email in her inbox or not. It was that simple.

The pads of her fingers began to move against the touchpad, guiding the arrow towards her inbox slowly. But everything stopped when she heard her cell phone ring and without looking at the screen, she answered the phone.

"Brennan."

Only a gush of wind could be heard on the other end.

"Brennan," she repeated. "Is anyone there?"

"Bones?"

His voice was soft and corrupted by the wind that must have been swirling around him.

Her hand tightened on the phone. "Booth?"

"Yeah Bones, it's me."

"How are you calling me?" She asked. "I thought you weren't going to have that ability."

"Apparently things have changed since the last time I was in a war zone," Booth explained. "I should be able to call you with relative frequency while I'm here."

Her heart began to pound. "So, it's not just going to be emails?"

"It shouldn't be. I should have time to call you at the very least weekly. Hold on." Another gust of wind invaded their conversation. "Sorry," Booth said, "it's very windy here today."

"I understand."

"What's going on, Bones? Are you okay?"

She frowned against her phone. "I'm fine. Why do you think something's wrong?"

"Your voice sounds different."

"I'm just surprised to hear from you that's all."

"Bones…"

"Just, not right now, okay?" Brennan breathed. "I just want to enjoy this."

"Did something happen?"

She shook her head even though she knew he couldn't see her. "No, it's nothing."

"You're lying to me," Booth sighed.

"You can't possibly know that. You're not even in the same room as me."

"I know you, Bones. And you can't lie worth a damn."

"It's not worth it, Booth. I'll be fine in the morning."

"Stop trying to protect me, Bones. Whatever it is. I know something is wrong. Just tell me," Booth pleaded.

"I just…" Her voice trailed off as she looked at her computer screen. Her inbox still said that she had twenty new emails. She took a deep breath, refocusing on the fact that Booth was on the phone with her. "I was a little surprised by your email."

"My email?"

"I don't want to talk about this."

"Too bad," Booth snapped. "We're talking about it. What was wrong with my email?"

"Nothing. It was fine."

"You're lying to me, Bones."

She closed her eyes, sighing in exasperation into the phone. He didn't say anything. He didn't sigh back. He just waited, and she knew that he'd continue to wait until she said something.

"It was short." She finally admitted.

"My email?" Booth asked, attempting to clarify her statement.

"Yes, okay? It was short and it seemed distant." She paused for a moment before continuing. "I didn't like it."

"Bones…"

"I know. I'm being ridiculous. It was an email. All I asked was that you informed me that you got there safely, and you did. You did just that," she swallowed. "Except I wanted more."

"What more did you want?" Booth pushed gently.

"I don't know."

"Be honest with me, Temperance," Booth urged. "Be honest and it will help this not happen again because I will do whatever you want me to do."

Her heart fluttered. "I wanted you to tell me how you were feeling. I wanted you to tell me more about what was going on and how you were." She took a deep breath. "I wanted you to tell me that you missed me."

"I do miss you, Temperance."

"I miss you too," she breathed. "I never thought…I just never imagined that it would be so easy for me to say those words to someone else. But the more we're apart, the easier it becomes because I can't seem to deny it. I miss you."

"It's a good thing."

"Are you sure?"

"I think it means something," Booth said. "Don't you?"

Air fell from her mouth. She knew what her answer was. She knew that it meant something. The past fourteen days had meant something. Nothing had been the same since she had left Booth.

"I do," she admitted quietly. "I'm just still struggling to come to terms with it."

"That's okay," Booth chuckled lightly. "I think we've got some time before we have to make any big decisions."

"Booth…"

"I know, I'm sorry," Booth said sadly. "I don't like it either."

"How is it in Afghanistan, Booth?" She asked, suddenly needing to change the subject.

"It's hot. It's… what I remembered about being in a war zone and it's more than what I remembered."

"Are you staying safe?"

"Bones, I made a promise to you," Booth said. "I keep my promises. Especially to you."

"I know."

"Are you taking care of yourself?"

"I'm trying," Brennan sighed. "I just…there is an adjustment period. I'm not used to this anymore." Her free hand found the pendant. Her thumb played with it gently. "I guess I'm not used to doing things without you anymore."

"It's going to be okay, Bones."

"I know."

Another gust of wind assaulted their conversation. Booth waited until the gust had stopped blowing until he spoke again. "I have to go."

"Oh, okay."

"Bones…"

"No, Booth, I understand. You've got a job to do and so do I."

"If I can't call, I'll email. And they'll be the type of emails that you want. Okay?"

"And I will email you back."

"It's a deal," Booth agreed. "Just… one day at a time, Temperance. One day at a time. It will get better."

"One day at a time," she repeated.

"See you later," Booth whispered into the phone. "Be safe."

"Take care of yourself, Booth. I'll see you later."

Before Brennan could add another word, the line went dead. She placed her cell phone back onto her desk. He had called. Her heart felt like it was flying. She knew it was impossible, but she felt very alive in this moment. He had done that for her.

He had awakened her; he had breathed the life that she had needed back into her.

She picked up the papers and started to thumb through them again. A sense of calmness came over her. He had called. Somehow, through something or someone, he had known that she needed him and he had called. It was enough to keep her going.

It was enough.

* * *

**Thank you for reading. If you have a second, I'd love to hear from you. **


	6. Chapter 5: Day 30

_**The Promise**_

**AN: ** Again, thank you to all of you who took the time to review. This story is very easy for me to write and I'm trying to bring updates at least twice a week.

If you are reading, please don't be shy, let me know your thoughts!

On with the show!

* * *

**Chapter 5: Day Thirty**

Her fellow anthropologists stood around her, waiting for her to speak, waiting for her to say something magnificent about their recent discovery. It wasn't groundbreaking, but it was a start. It was the tip of something that could be amazing. So, she spoke to them about the implications that this very tiny discovery could have. She spoke to them about the future, about what this meant for the rest of the project. They listened to her willingly. There were no interruptions, no looks of annoyance or confusion. They all understood. This was what she had been missing about these digs. She had missed the mutual understanding that she had with her fellow anthropologists. Yes, there were times when she had to explain to them that they were in fact wrong, but it didn't matter. They knew how to read bones. They understood.

She spoke her final words to the group before leaving the tent that had been constructed to hold the bones that they were currently working on. As she made her way back to her hut, some of her fellow anthropologists waved at her, greeting her in a subtle way, knowing that she wasn't one for small talk.

It had been a month since she had arrived in Maluku. There were times when she thought it was unbearable, but for the most part, she had finally begun to settle in. Days went by sometimes with little effort and sometimes with a great deal of effort. There were days when everything flowed naturally, when work was welcomed and enjoyable, and days when all she wanted was to be back at the Jeffersonian with Booth. There were days when she didn't miss him and days when she felt like the end was never going to be near. Everything came and went in waves. Day by day her emotions changed. Day by day her desire to be in Maluku changed. Day by day she dealt with her fears that something would happen to Booth. But one thing remained the same. One thing remained constant.

Every week, she waited for Booth's phone call. No one called her except for him. She exchanged emails with Angela and Hodgins and occasionally Cam, but Booth was the only one that called. And when her phone did ring, her heartbeat sped up and goose bumps ignited across her skin until she heard his voice, and then everything inside of her seemed to calm. She waited for those moments, the sometimes short and sometimes longer conversations that she had with him weekly since he had arrived in Afghanistan. She was grateful for those moments. She clung to them in the times when the water seemed like it was over her head. They kept her breathing. They reminded her of what was waiting for at the end of this year. They kept her afloat.

Tonight as she entered her hut, she hadn't expected her phone to ring. It had barely been three days since the last time she had spoken to Booth. Her heart pounded. Her feet moved faster, reaching for her phone that rested on top of her small table that held her computer.

"Brennan," she answered nervously.

"Bones," Booth said, "you alright?"

The pounded inside of her chest slowed. "I'm fine, Booth. It's just…" She took a deep breath. "It's only been three days. Is everything okay?"

"You've been counting the days since you last talked to me? You must really miss me." Booth joked.

Brennan froze, unsure of what to say.

"I'm kidding, Bones," Booth said, sensing her hesitation.

"Oh."

"Guess it wasn't that funny," Booth chuckled softly into the phone.

"Booth – "

"Bones," Booth interrupted. "I don't have much time. I just, I needed to call you before I left."

"What?" Brennan asked, confused. "I don't understand, where are you going? I thought you were supposed to just be training men on the base."

"Some of that training involves taking some of the senior men out into the field and doing some heavier training," Booth explained.

"Oh," Brennan swallowed. Her stomach began to churn. Quickly, she reached for the pendant around her neck, holding onto it tightly. It had become a source of comfort for her. She exhaled into the phone before speaking. "How long will you be gone?"

"Just a few weeks," Booth answered. "It shouldn't be too long."

"Okay."

"Okay?" Booth questioned.

"I can't stop you from doing it, Booth."

"Bones…"

"You promised me, Booth. You promised me that you wouldn't be you out there."

"I can't not do this, Temperance," Booth said softly. "This is my job. This is what I was brought here to do."

"Fine."

"Fine?" Booth sneered.

"Yes, fine, Booth," Brennan snapped. "I don't know what you expect me to say."

"Maybe something along the lines of 'be safe out there' or 'take care of yourself'?" Booth suggested.

"I'm not like other women, Booth."

"Believe me, I know."

Brennan frowned. "What does that mean?"

"It means…" Booth's voice trailed off. He waited a second before continuing. "It doesn't mean anything, Bones. Just forget about it."

"I don't know what you want from me, Booth."

"Nothing, Bones," Booth moaned. "I don't want anything."

Her hand tightened around the pendant. "Then why did you…" She closed her eyes. Fear seeped into her skin, infiltrating her bones.

"Why did I what?" Booth asked impatiently.

"Why did you even bother to call me then, Booth?" Brennan growled. "If you didn't want anything from me, why have you been calling me? Why call me now, before you leave?"

"Bones…"

"No, Booth," Brennan pushed. "I need to know. I can't… this thing that we've been doing, I need it to stop if things aren't… if you aren't in the same place as you were when…" She stopped suddenly. Her mouth warmed and her stomach turned. She swallowed past the lump that had formed in her throat. Tears formed in her sleep-deprived eyes. "I need to know, Booth."

Booth remained silent as he listened to her struggle to regain control.

Brennan swiped at the tears that fell from her eyes as she waited for Booth to answer her.

"Please, Booth." She begged after another minute had passed.

"Nothing has changed, Temperance," Booth admitted softly. "I still feel what I said that night outside of the Hoover building."

"This is hard, Booth," Brennan confessed. "This isn't… I didn't expect this. I didn't expect to miss you as much as I do." She hesitated before continuing. "I didn't expect to have the desire to see you as much as I do."

"Bones…"

A sole tear slipped from her right eye, landing on her phone. "This is my fault."

"Bones, this isn't your fault."

"If I hadn't denied you. If I hadn't accepted this job – "

"Don't, Bones," Booth interrupted. "Don't play that game. It isn't worth it. We're here now and that's what we have. You can't second guess yourself now."

"I'm changing, Booth," Brennan professed softly. "I didn't think I could, but I am."

"I know, Temperance."

"I didn't know I could be this type of woman."

"Is that such a bad thing?" Booth asked softly.

"No," Brennan admitted. "I just wasn't aware that I had it in me."

"I knew. I knew you did."

"I don't know who I am anymore, Booth. I don't know what I want."

"Lucky for us you've got some time to figure that out," Booth chuckled softly.

"That isn't funny." Brennan frowned. "You're in a war zone, Booth."

"I am well aware of where I am," Booth sighed. "Look, Bones. Nothing has to be decided today or tomorrow. Nothing has to be decided until we get back. Just take this time and think about what you want. Remember, you wanted this time to gain some perspective. So use it. Use this time for that. I'll be here when the year is up."

"I do know one thing."

"What's that?"

"I want you in my life, Booth," Brennan confessed quietly. "I'm just…I need to make sure that I'm doing it for the right reasons."

"You'll figure it out, Bones, and I'll be here. Waiting."

Brennan smiled against the phone. "I do miss you, Booth."

"I miss you too, Bones." He took a deep breath before starting again. "It's almost time for me to go. I've gotta pack for the exercise."

"Oh, I forgot."

"Bones…"

"No, it's okay, Booth. I understand."

"You don't, but that's okay," Booth said. "Just remember that I made a promise to you, Bones. I never go back on my promises."

Newly formed tears fell from her red eyes. "You never have."

"And I'm not going to start now."

"Please, Booth, be careful out there."

"You know I will."

"Will you…" she stammered. "Will you have email?"

"No, not this time. I'm sorry, Bones."

"It's okay, I just… I didn't want to not email you and then only learn later that I could have."

"It's going to be okay," Booth said encouragingly. "Take care of yourself."

"Don't worry about me, Booth. Worry about staying safe. Please?"

"I will."

Brennan's grip tightened on her phone. "Please, call me. Call me when you get back."

"You know I will, Temperance," Booth said tenderly. "It's going to be okay."

She closed her eyes. "Just remember your promise."

"I always do," Booth said. "I'll talk to you as soon as I get back. I'll see you later, alright?"

"Okay," Brennan breathed. "I'll see you later."

Her hand held her phone against her cheek until the line went dead. It was becoming a habit. Only then did she close the phone and place it back beside her computer. She took two more steps before she let herself collapse onto her bed, a wave of tears washing over her like a freight train. She didn't fight them. She didn't hold them in. She let them come, allowing herself a moment to grieve, to feel the turbulent emotions that were swirling around inside of her. The love. The fear. The sadness. It all mixed together into one, leaving her grieving on her bed.

It was the first night that she cried herself to sleep.

* * *

**Thank you for reading. If you have a second, I'd love to hear from you.**


	7. Chapter 6: Day 48

_**The Promise**_

**AN: ** Again, thank you to all of you who took the time to review. I am extremely grateful for all of them. And to the anonymous reviewers, please know that I appreciate them since I couldn't respond to you individually.

If you are reading, please don't be shy. Let me know your thoughts!

* * *

**Chapter 6: Day Forty-Eight**

_Her phone rang. And rang. _

_She stared at it. The numbers that appeared on the screen were unfamiliar. It made her stomach churn and her chest tighten. Her breath fell from her lips and she gasped for oxygen. Fear ignited inside of her. Panic invaded every limb of her body. _

_The phone rang again._

_Her hand reached forward, grabbing at the electronic device. She didn't want to answer. She knew what was coming. She knew what they were going to tell her. She felt it. In her gut. She never thought that she'd admit that, but somehow she knew. _

_Booth was dead._

_Something had happened out there in the field and he was gone. He had left her. _

_The phone rang again._

_She had to answer it. Her mouth warmed. _

_"Brennan," she said shakily. _

_Her heart rate sped. Her eyes flooded with tears. She knew what was coming. She knew._

_Booth was dead._

_"Dr. Temperance Brennan?" The voice on the other end asked firmly._

_She swallowed. She didn't want to say "yes." She didn't want to hear what he had to say, what she knew he was going to say. Tears of grief fell from her eyes. _

_"Dr. Temperance Brennan?" The voice repeated._

_She tried to inhale. Her body was grasping for oxygen but little was coming in. In and out, she reminded herself, in and out._

_She knew she had to answer him. She had to. There was no choice in the matter. _

_"This is she." Her voice was weak and hitched, broken by the swirling emotions inside of her._

_"I'm sorry, Dr. Brennan, but I regret to inform you that – " _

_The voice trailed off. She didn't hear it anymore. The words. The things that they were told to say in order to provide comfort to people who had just lost loved ones._

_The phone fell from her hand. Her chest tightened even more. Her eyes burned._

_And then it all went black._

_

* * *

_

She shot up in bed. Fresh tears fell from her tired eyes. With a turn of her body she flicked on the light in her hut, looking at the battery-powered clock beside her bed. 2:04am. Her hand reached for her phone, checking it before easing herself back down onto her bed. Perspiration coated her skin. Her stomach turned inside of her. Her heart pounded in her chest. Terror gripped at her.

The nightmares had started after the last night she had spoken to Booth. It was always the same. A phone call. A comforting voice beginning to tell her that Booth was dead. And then, she awakened.

She hadn't slept for a full night in seventeen days. After the first five nights of the same nightmare, she had tried to not sleep at all. She had stayed up late, working on some of the implications of their most recent findings. But after day ten, she was exhausted and her colleagues were beginning to notice. They were beginning to ask questions, and Daisy began to hound her, asking her if she was alright.

Two nights ago, Daisy had finally confronted her, telling her that people were beginning to worry; that they had heard her screaming in the middle of the night, that the bags under her eyes were beginning to appear more severe. Daisy had suggested that she call Sweets. Of course, she had immediately bulked at the idea, telling Daisy that it was unnecessary and that she was fine. But now, in the darkness of the night, when her fears haunted her, she began to entertain the idea.

Her still trembling hand wandered up the length of her body until it latched around the pendant on her neck. She closed her eyes, taking long calming breaths. Her heart called for Booth. She yearned for him. To hear his voice. To see him. To know for her own eyes that he was in fact, alive. She spoke his name aloud, hoping that he would hear her, hoping that he would know that she needed him. She knew it was irrational; that Booth could not hear her, but she did it anyway because it made a tiny part inside of her feel better to say his name.

"Booth," she said again.

Her labored breathing began to calm. The panic that had wrapped around her began to dissipate.

She didn't understand what was happening to her. Logically, she knew that the strain of being separated from Booth was taking a toll on her. But, she hadn't been prepared for this. She didn't understand the emotions that seemed to be swirling inside of her like a tornado. She didn't understand how the logical side of her seemed to be disappearing. Ever since she had separated from Booth, it seemed like her emotions were controlling her. Not logic. Not reason. Her emotions. And she wasn't used to feeling this way. At least not since she was a child. She hadn't let herself. Except now she didn't seem to be able to stop it. The unstoppable force.

Without further thought, she reached for her phone, quickly selecting a name from her contacts and pressing the send button so she didn't have time to think twice.

The phone rang once, twice, and then she heard his voice.

"Sweets," the voice answered.

Brennan couldn't help but roll her eyes. On the phone he sounded even more like a twelve year old. "Sweets, this is Dr. Brennan."

"Dr. Brennan!" Sweets exclaimed loudly. "To what do I owe this awesome pleasure?"

"This was a bad idea," she grumbled. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you. Please just forget about this."

"No, don't," Sweets said quickly. "Don't hang up. You clearly called for a reason. Is there something I can assist you with?"

"I shouldn't have bothered you. I'll let you go."

"Is it about Agent Booth?"

Brennan closed her eyes, choosing not to respond. She wanted to tell him. To ask him questions. To try to scientifically gather data on what could be going on based upon what Sweets explained to her.

"Dr. Brennan, this must be a very difficult time for you," Sweets added.

"Why do you say that?"

"Your partner is in a war zone, Dr. Brennan. You have to be separated from him for a year. It must be very trying at times."

"We chose to be separated," Brennan said rationally. "We chose this."

"That doesn't make it any easier." Sweets countered. "When you took the positions I'm sure you knew that it would be somewhat hard to be separated from your partner for a year." He paused for a moment before continuing. "But do you think you underestimated just how hard it would be?"

Brennan knew that she had underestimated how hard it would be. She knew that after the first day of being on Maluku. Booth was no longer there. He wasn't there to explain common catch phrases to her. He wasn't there to help people understand her and help her understand people. He wasn't there to make her laugh, to hold her when she felt sad. He wasn't there to talk to, to bounce ideas off of, to help her understand why she was feeling all the things she was feeling. She was alone. Again. But this time, she had chosen it. She had chosen to run away. To fly off to a far away place and hide. She had let her fear control her, much like Russ had let his fear control him when he drove away from her all those years ago.

Her stomach tossed. She felt sick. She had done this to them. She had caused this.

"Dr. Brennan?" Sweets asked.

"I'm sorry, Sweets." Brennan breathed heavily into the phone. "I need to go."

"Dr. Brennan, wait," Sweets yelled. "Just wait for one second. You called me for a reason and I would like to suggest something. Is that okay?"

Brennan swallowed the warm saliva that was swimming in her mouth. "Go ahead."

"During this time that you are separated from Agent Booth, I think it would be a great time for you to learn to understand some of the emotions that you're feeling – "

"Sweets – "

"Just listen," Sweets interrupted. "Because I have studied you, I know how you work. And I am guessing that this phone call happened because you have been unable to compartmentalize some of the emotions that you are feeling. Is that correct?"

"To a certain extent you are correct," Brennan answered.

"Then may I suggest that you write some of the emotions that you are having down, that way you are providing yourself with an outlet for the emotions that you are unable to compartmentalize."

"Sweets, I hardly have the time to – "

"Make the time, Dr. Brennan," Sweets snapped. "You need to make the time. Writing some of your emotions down will help you understand why you are feeling a certain way. It may even provide you insight into your own character." He sighed into the phone. "Dr. Brennan, if you did this, I think you would be wicked happy with the results."

Brennan wanted to tell him that his suggestion was worthless. She wanted to tell him that nothing good could come from writing something down at random intervals; that the emotional release that she sought could not come from that. But, as a scientist she knew that she would be wrong in saying that because when she was trapped in that car with Hodgins, when the Gravedigger had buried them underground, she had written to Booth. She had taken the time to write a farewell to Booth. And after that moment, after she had signed her name and placed the note inside of her pocket, she found relief. The few simple words that she had written in the letter had eased her scrambling mind. So, why wouldn't writing something down help her now?

"Perhaps you're right, Sweets." She bit her lip hard. "I will try writing and see if that helps. Thank you for your time."

"Anytime, Dr. Brennan," Sweets said. "I'm always willing to – "

She closed her phone, not wanting to listen to anymore of what Sweets had to say. She had gotten what she needed out of that conversation. He had provided her with an acceptable way to deal with the emotions that seemed to be twisting inside of her. She only hoped that the releasing of the pent up emotions would provide her with the relief that she sought. Especially, in terms of sleep. She needed to be able to sleep. It had been too many nights without a solid block of sleep.

She sat up in bed, dropping her phone back onto the small table and reaching for her computer. She lowered the computer into her lap and with three clicks of her mouse, a new word document was opened and sitting on the screen of her computer, empty. Her fingers sat on the keys, waiting. She closed her eyes and finally allowed herself to begin to confront the emotions that had been nibbling at her insides for days.

Her fingers began to type.

_This seems ridiculous. I am a scientist. I am logical. I think with my brain, not my heart. And yet, here I am typing in this word document in hopes that these words will provide me with some much-needed sanity. _

_I cannot sleep. Ever since Booth told me that he had to leave the base to train some of his men, nightmares have plagued me. I have dealt with nightmares before. I know how to ride them out, but these ones are particularly painful. It always starts the same. With the ring of the phone, and then before I know it I am being informed that Booth is dead. _

_I know why I have them. I am constantly worried that something is going to happen to him. A part of me believed that in leaving the country, in not working with him on a daily basis anymore, that the fear that I felt for him would disappear. But it hasn't. Instead, it has intensified. There are nights where I fear sleeping at all because I don't want the dreams to come, because sometimes I wake up and am convinced that they were reality. Except morning comes and I am confronted with the actual reality. Another day has begun._

_Sweets believes that writing these thoughts down will help me better understand my character. I certainly hope so because at this point in time, I am struggling to understand who exactly I am. I know I am Dr. Temperance Brennan. I know what all of that entails. What I don't know is if I can be the person that is in a relationship. I don't know if I am capable of loving a human being in the way that Booth has professed his love for me. I can only hope that writing will help me as it has in the past. And I hope that this will provide me with some desired insight into what I want. _

_Asking myself that question now, the only thing that I want is for Booth to come back from this training exercise alive. _

_I need him to come back alive._

Her fingers stopped on the keyboard. She looked at the document, wanting to reread it, but choosing instead not to. She saved the document and closed her laptop. She gently placed it back onto the small table beside her bed before she settled back into her bed and let her eyes close, hoping that for the remainder of the night, her nightmares would be kept at bay.

* * *

**I know this was a different chapter. It was just Brennan (and Sweets), and it was a lot of her dealing with emotions that she has been feeling. But it allowed her to begin to understand herself and what she needs. Things can only get better from there. I'm curious to see if you enjoyed this chapter the same or not. Or if you just want Booth back. So if you have a second, I'd love to hear from you.**


	8. Chapter 7: Day 58

_**The Promise**_

**AN: ** So, I'm really sorry that I wasn't able to post this sooner. I was on my way back home from vacationing with my family.

Again, thank you to all of you who are reviewing this story. I can't tell you how much it means to me to see those little reviews pop up in my inbox.

And hang on for this chapter…there are some big moments within!

* * *

**Chapter 7: Day Fifty-Eight**

She yelled at Daisy today. It wasn't her usual yelling either. This was more. It was like a bomb had ignited inside of her and she couldn't stop it from going off. After the final angry words had fired from her mouth, Daisy had run away crying, while she stood there panting. The other anthropologists had scurried away earlier, not wanting to be around when the final words were spoken for fear that Brennan would turn and direct her remaining anger at one of them. So, she had stood alone in the tent for several minutes before moving, knowing that it was the safest place for her. She couldn't risk yelling at anyone else.

Five minutes after Daisy had hurried away from her, Brennan had finally emerged from the tent. Some of her colleagues had shot her curious glances as she walked back to her hut, but she glared back hoping to inform them from one glance that she was not in the mood for a lecture, or for proper teaching, or for being kind, or for stupid mistakes.

It had been twenty-seven days since she had last heard from Booth. Twenty-seven long worrisome days. She didn't know if she could take another day, and it was becoming clear that her team couldn't take another one either. Over the past few days, she had been yelling more and more. Daisy was one of the few that would still brave being in the same tent as her, but probably not anymore. Not after the way she had laid into her this afternoon. Part of her irritability was due to her lack of sleep. She knew that. But her nightmares were not subsiding. The writing her thoughts down as Sweets had suggested would provide a temporary ease, but soon after the unease would return. Her fears had crept inside of the smallest corners of her body, hiding away, not wanting to leave her body. Thoughts, some rational and some irrational, tumbled around inside of her brain and like a hot air popcorn machine, one by one they would turn from a mere kernel into a fluffy piece of popcorn that overwhelmed her tired brain. She had tried to pick at them, to make them disappear but they wouldn't go, and she was still unsure of what that meant.

She still chose not to read any of her writing entries. And it wasn't because she was afraid of what was inside of them. It was because she didn't see the point. All the thoughts that she was writing down existed already in her head. She knew what she was thinking. She merely needed a way to purge all of it.

There were common words that appeared in every entry. Words like need, want, fear, alive, change, hope, and love. They all appeared regularly in her entries. She knew they did because she thought them daily. Those words couldn't be compartmentalized away into some corner of her brain. They existed inside of her boldly. They were unwilling to vanish, to not be heard. So, she had no choice but to hear them.

She sat inside of her hut now, staring at her computer screen again. Every day she came in from the field, and stared at it, willing for it to magically produce an email from Booth. But just like every other day since Booth had left the base, there was nothing there, at least from him and right now, that was the only email that she cared about.

She pulled her phone from her back pocket, setting it beside her computer. Her phone had become a permanent part of her wardrobe these days. She never left it behind. It was always attached to her in some way. Some times she would even look at the phone, urging it silently to ring, but of course, nothing would happen.

She hated feeling this way. So dependant. So needy. She hated the idea that she was waiting for a man to call her. She was not that person. She wasn't supposed to be a person that couldn't exist without her cell phone, but ever since she had been separated from Booth, she never let it out of her sight. It made her feel foolish. It made her feel like she was a housewife, always waiting for her husband to check in with her. Except she wasn't. She was in the Maluku Islands, working on one of the biggest forensic anthropology operations to date. And yet, it didn't matter. None of it mattered. The results, the big discoveries, she didn't give a damn about them. Because Booth still hadn't called. Because Booth wasn't beside her.

It didn't make any sense to her. She loved this part of her job. This was why she became a forensic anthropologist. For discoveries like this. Not to chase after criminals. Not to catch murders. But she was quickly discovering that this part of her job, limited her communication with Booth. It took away the tiniest daily routines that she had shared with Booth, which she had come to enjoy. Like a drink of coffee. Or lunch at the diner. Or celebratory drinks after catching another criminal at the Founding Fathers. Or even takeout while finishing up their latest case report. All of those pieces of her life were missing now. She was without Booth, but doing the part of her job that she loved. She should be having fun. She should be enjoying the tiny discoveries that they were making daily on this project, but she wasn't. Because Booth wasn't here and because she couldn't share it with him. It seemed that her happiness was all coming back around towards Booth. Her career. Her life. Her future. It all revolved around Booth.

She knew what it meant, but she pushed it aside. She wasn't prepared to deal with such an admission yet. She couldn't set herself up for a broken heart. Not now. Not when Booth was still gone. Not when her fears still nibbled at her heart.

Tiredly, she wandered away from her computer and made her way into her small bathroom, suddenly needing to feel the water move over her skin. When she was a child she often found herself most at ease while showering or taking a bath, and even now, things remained the same. Inside of the shower, her defenses dropped and her mind stopped spinning. Quite simply, she let herself just be. Her hand spun the faucet, turning on the shower. She undressed hurriedly, needing to feel that sense of comfort wash over her. Uncaring of the temperature she stepped inside, letting the cool water slide over her tense muscles. The droplets of water do their job. They numb her overly excited brain, and provide her with a moment of peace. She focused on the water, on how good to felt to have it splash over her body and ignored all of her surroundings. She let the panic, the fear, the anger, all of it, drip away with the water as it tumbled down her skin and into the drain.

It was when she reached for her shampoo that she heard it. The first ring of her cell phone in twenty-seven days. Her heart lurched. It rang again. She knew she didn't have much time.

She threw herself from the shower, lunging for her towel as she ran towards her phone.

It rang again.

Her hand reached for her phone, pressing the tiny button that allowed her to answer the call as she brought it to her ear.

She panted into the phone. "Brennan."

It was while she waited for the caller to answer that she realized she hadn't checked to see who was calling her. Her stomach clenched. But within seconds she heard it. The voice that she had been longing to hear ever since it had been taken away from her.

"Bones?"

"Booth." She breathed. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Bones," Booth said lightly. "I'm back at the base."

"Did anything…" Her words stopped abruptly. She didn't know if she wanted to know if anything had happened. It wasn't something that she wanted to think about.

"Bones, I'm fine. The training exercise went well."

She breathed in. Water dripped from her naked body. With her free hand, she wrapped the towel around her body.

"Bones? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." She swallowed the lie, but she knew he knew better.

"Don't lie to me." Booth warned.

She opted for misdirection instead. "Well, if you must know I'm standing in my hut dripping wet and wearing nothing but a towel."

"Bones…" Booth groaned.

"What?" Brennan asked innocently. "You asked me not to lie to you. I was merely adhering to your request."

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"I don't see how me telling you I was in nothing but a towel could – " Her voice stopped. She took a breath. "Oh."

"Only you, Bones." Booth chuckled. "How have things been since I've been gone?"

"They have been fine," Brennan said, her voice calm and in control.

"There's that word again."

"What word?" She asked, confused.

"You keep saying 'fine', Bones," Booth explained. "My previous experiences with woman have given me enough proof to know that when a woman uses the word 'fine,' she is not in fact 'fine.' So, what's really going on in that head of yours, Bones?"

Brennan allowed herself to sit on her bed, not caring if the sheets were wet when she fell asleep tonight. She had been waiting for this moment. For him to come back from wherever he had been and so that she could talk to him again, and now she was faltering. Her fear was getting the better of her.

"Bones?"

"I don't know what to say, Booth."

"Just tell me the truth, Bones," Booth said. "We've never had any problems with that before."

The truth? She wanted to scream into the phone. To cry out. To tell him that they were thousands of miles apart and all she cared about was him. All she wanted was him.

"Booth…"

"It's just me, Bones," Booth interrupted. "Nothing has changed between us."

"Except they have."

"What are you talking about?"

"You told me that you love me, Booth." She reminded him.

"I remember, Bones. I haven't forgotten."

"It has changed things," she said sadly. "We never talk about that night, Booth. I said things to you and you said things to me, and we never talk about it."

Booth exhaled into the phone. "I thought it would be easier for you to just compartmentalize it. To put it away and let it go."

"I can't compartmentalize it," Brennan admitted softly. "I can't stop thinking about you. I can't stop… needing you. I want you here with me. I don't want to be thousands of miles apart. And I don't understand it."

"You're changing, Bones," Booth said gently. "It's not a bad thing."

"I've haven't been able to sleep."

"What?"

Her eyes tickled with fresh tears. "I've been having nightmares."

"Bones." Booth sighed. "Why didn't you say something?"

"They started after you left for the training exercise. I couldn't say anything."

"Nothing happened to me out there, Temperance. I don't even have a scratch on my body."

Brennan frowned. "I'm afraid it isn't that simple. I can't seem to compartmentalize my emotions anymore. Especially when it comes to you."

"What can I do to help?" Booth asked.

"Come to Maluku."

"What?"

"Come to Maluku," she repeated.

"Are you serious?"

"Does it sound like I'm not?" She asked.

"Temperance…"

"I need to see you, Booth," Brennan said again. "I need you. Come to Maluku."

* * *

**Will Booth say "yes"? If you have a second, I'd love to hear from you!**


	9. Chapter 8: Day 58 Continued

_**The Promise**_

**AN: ** Wow. You guys all really want Booth to come. Inside you will find the answer…

But before I shut up, thank you to all of you for reviewing. It provided excellent motivation to get more chapters done so I can update more. To my anonymous reviewers whom I can't respond to, thank you so much for taking the time to leave me a note. Every one is appreciated.

And now without further delay…

* * *

**Chapter 8: Day Fifty-Eight Continued**

_"I need to see you, Booth," Brennan said again. "I need you. Come to Maluku."_

"Temperance, I can't just leave the base," Booth said softly. "It isn't that simple."

Brennan frowned. "You snuck out before."

"This is different, Bones. I'm in a war zone. There are precautions taken to ensure that no one is missing on a daily basis." Booth swallowed. "I'm sorry but I don't know if me coming to Mapoopoo is an option right now."

"Maluku." She corrected him automatically.

"Right."

"I understand." She was unable to hide the disappointment from her voice.

"You don't," Booth sighed. There was a brief moment of silence before Booth continued. "I would do anything to make you happy, Bones. And if I could get on a plane right now I would, but it's just not possible." He exhaled into the phone. "Just because I'm not jumping on a plane right now doesn't mean that I don't love you. It doesn't mean that I wouldn't do anything for you. It doesn't mean that I don't need to see you too and that this has been a walk in the park for me." He waited a second; letting his words sink in before adding the last part. "It's not that I don't want to be there, it's that I can't. My feelings haven't changed, Bones. Do you understand?"

She fiddled with the pendant around her neck. Her brain understood. It knew that Booth would not lie to her. It knew that Booth would never willingly hurt her. But her heart did not. Her heart screamed until it shattered the tentative barrier that she had built around it. Moisture welled in her eyes. Damn him for making her feel this way. Damn him for opening her up, for making her fall in love with him.

"Bones?"

She thought about what she could say. She could say she did. It wouldn't be lying. She did understand. At least the rational side of her still did. She could say that it was fine, that it was just an impractical suggestion, but she knew that he would push harder then. Her mouth dried.

"Temperance, do you understand?" Booth repeated the question. Concern laced his voice.

"I understand," she said the words fast. They slipped from her lips easily. The moisture that had formed in her eyes began to splash onto her cheeks. Her chest constricted. She didn't want to be doing this. She didn't want to feel this way. It was too easy. Too easy to get hurt. "Booth, I have to go."

"Don't," Booth snapped. "Don't you dare run away from me, Temperance."

She ignored him. "It's late, Booth. I have a busy day tomorrow. I really must go."

"Talk to me, Bones," Booth pleaded. "Don't do this. You need to talk to me."

She considered his plea. She considered the sound of his voice. He was begging her to not hang up. To not run away. She wanted to comply. To stay on the phone and to continue to talk to him as if she hadn't just asked him to come visit her, but she couldn't. The barrier that had once existed, the one that had kept her safe from the emotions and from the hurt, was nonexistent now. Especially, when it came to him.

"Booth, please understand. I need some time. I need…"

"You don't need anything," Booth interrupted angrily. "You're running away. You're going back into your shell so that you can protect yourself."

"Don't talk to me like that, Booth," Brennan barked. "Don't you dare talk to me like that."

"Why not?" Booth pushed. "Why shouldn't I? I've put myself out there, Bones. I've told you that I love you, that I want you. I've told you everything. I _want_ to come out there, Bones. I want to see you. But I can't. The military doesn't work like that."

She wanted to hang up the phone. To end the call and leave the matter unresolved, but she knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep. She knew that if something happened to Booth and their last phone conversation had been this, that it would destroy her. That it would plague her until the day she died.

"Do you think asking you to come here was easy for me, Booth? Do you think that I always ask people to come visit me on a project? I have _never_ in my time as a forensic anthropologist asked another person to visit me at a site where I am working. _Never_, Booth."

Booth sighed in resignation. "I'm sorry."

"What?"

Her anger simmered.

"You're right."

Brennan frowned. "I don't understand."

"You asked me to visit you in Mapoopoo – "

"- Maluku," Brennan corrected again.

"I know, Bones." Booth chuckled. "You asked me to visit you. That was… it was you putting yourself out there. I just didn't realize it until now."

Her eyes closed. Tears fell from them, dripping onto her cheeks. She had put herself out there and it had backfired. Booth had rejected her. He hadn't even considered her suggestion as a possibility.

"I can't promise anything, Bones. I can't promise that they'll let me leave now or three or four months from now. Hell, they may even laugh me out of that office, but I will ask. I will try to work something out and if I can, I'll be there. Just it may not be immediately. It may take a few months for me to get there."

"Do you mean that?" She stammered. Her heart swelled. She felt out of control.

"I would never have not asked, Bones."

She swiped at the tears that were still leaking from her eyes with the back of her free hand. "I feel foolish."

"You don't have to hide from me," Booth reminded her. "I'm not someone you just met, Bones. You know me. You know that I'd never hurt you willingly."

"You're right. I just…" She stopped abruptly before starting over again. "I'm not used to feeling this irrational, Booth. I'm not used to my emotions ruling my decisions and my thought processes. I'm not used to feeling this out of control."

"It's okay to feel out of control once in awhile, Bones," Booth said lightly.

"Booth…"

"Not everything can be explained. Not everything can be easily compartmentalized and ignored." Booth took a breath. "Not everything can be simply wished away."

"I never said it had to be."

"Bones, don't get defensive. I'm just trying to tell you that these things that you're feeling…they are emotions that everyone feels."

"You can't possibly know that."

"Bones." Booth growled in frustration. "What I'm trying to tell you is that you're not alone. You're not the only one who is scared. You're not the only one that has tried to bury what they are feeling."

The minute his words left his mouth she understood. He was trying to tell her that he was just as scared as she was. Just as confused. Just as out of control. That she was not alone. Her hand moved upwards. She let her fingers fiddle with the pendant.

"What helps you?" She asked softly.

"It isn't what helps me. It's what reminds me."

"I don't understand."

"I think of you, Temperance. Sometimes it's something ridiculous like the time you slapped me during our first case together. Sometimes it's the look on your face when you're telling me something painful from your past. Sometimes it's the way you smile at me or laugh at me. Sometimes it's the way I remember the feeling of your lips against mine." His voice faltered for a moment. He cleared his throat and started again. "Sometimes it's just the way you look at me. Sometimes it's the way you trust me. All of it, Temperance. All of those memories remind me of why I shouldn't be afraid, why I shouldn't bury it deep down."

"Why? Why shouldn't you be afraid? I'll break you, Booth. And I couldn't live with myself if I did something to hurt you." Her thumb swept across the top of the pendant. "I don't want to live without you, Booth. I can't risk losing you."

"You won't lose me, Bones."

"You don't know that, Booth. You don't know what I'm capable of."

"I do," Booth argued. "I do know what you're capable of. And I'm not scared of you because I know, Temperance. I know what you've buried deep down inside of you. But I'm not going to push you. I'm not going to beg you to say it. You need to say it when you're ready. When you're sure that I'm not going to hurt you and you're not going to hurt me. You need to be ready. I already am ready and I will wait for you."

She fell silent. He knew. Logically, she knew that he knew. There was no way he couldn't know. He read people. He was a people person. It was only logical to assume that he knew her secret.

She wanted to be mad at him. She wanted to yell. To tell him that he had no right to presume to know something so personal. But she couldn't. Because he was right and yelling at him would only prove him more right. She was still too afraid. Too unprepared to deal with what moving their relationship to the next level would bring her. She just wasn't ready. A part of her feared that she never would be because if she was, that meant that she would risk losing him. And losing him wasn't an option.

"Bones, I want to tell you something. I want to reassure you of something since I can't do it in all the small ways that I normally do it when we're together." His voice was gentle. "I'm not going to betray you. I'm not going to leave you willingly. I'm not going to break your heart."

"You can't say that, Booth."

"Why not?"

"Because you don't know what the future holds," Brennan said, her voice rose almost to the level it had been when she had yelled at Daisy earlier in the day. "How can you possibly promise that you will never willingly leave me? What if I cheat on you? What if I break your heart?"

"I trust you."

"It isn't that simple."

"It is that simple," Booth pushed. "I trust you. I trust you with my heart. I trust you with my life. I trust that you would never willingly hurt me. Based upon all of that, I know that you would never do any of those things to me, Bones."

She sighed into the phone. "I'm just… not ready."

"I never said you had to be."

"Booth…"

"It's simple, Bones. We're going to continue playing the game that we've always played and when you're ready, we'll move onto the next game."

Brennan frowned. "How can you be so sure that I'll be ready?"

"You're changing, Bones. You said so yourself."

"That doesn't mean that – "

"It will happen," Booth interrupted. "You'll know when you're ready, Bones."

"I don't know if I can promise -

"Do you trust me?"

"What? Booth, of course I trust you."

"Then, trust me on this."

"Okay." Brennan swallowed her fear, and reminded herself that Booth would never heart her. "I really do need to go to bed," she added. "I'm afraid the lack of sleep is beginning to take its toll on me. I yelled at Daisy today and several of my team members are becoming concerned."

"That's fine. I've got a brief in a few minutes."

"Booth…"

"Sleep, Temperance. I'm safe."

"You're in a war zone, Booth."

"And you need to sleep," Booth urged. "I'll call you tomorrow to make sure you're alright."

"You don't need to – "

"Too bad," Booth interrupted. "I'm doing it."

"Thank you, Booth."

"I'll see you later, Bones."

"See you, Booth," she whispered.

She waited for him to hang up before she ended the call on her phone. Thoughts manically moved throughout her brain. She needed them to stop. Booth was safe. He was back at the base. Nothing had happened. She closed her eyes and reminded herself mentally that Booth was safe.

Booth was safe.

She slept without a dream that night. It was the first time in twenty-eight days that she had slept through the night.

All because Booth was safe.

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**If you have a second, I would love to know what you think...**


	10. Chapter 9: Day 100

_**The Promise**_

**AN: ** First, I'd like to apologize for not getting this up sooner. My life kind of got on a seesaw the past few days, so I was unable to get to this. But here it is now.

I know I haven't responded to all of you for your reviews for the previous chapter. I will later today, I just wanted to get this up for all of you before the craziness in my life starts again.

Again, _thank you_ for your reviews… they have helped me get this up and keep writing.

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**Chapter 9: Day 100**

100 days. She couldn't believe that she had been in Maluku for 100 days; that she had been away from Booth for 100 days. There had been days when it seemed like time was flying by, where she lost track of time and quickly realized that another day was over. And then, there were days when it seemed like everything was moving at a turtle's pace. Slow and steady. Those were the days when she found herself writing in the word document on her computer that had quickly become entitled "For Booth." She didn't know if she'd ever let him read it, but it seemed fitting. Everything that she had written inside of that document was about him. It contained pieces of her that she wasn't even aware existed, and if she were going to share it with anyone it would be Booth. All of her emotions, her desires and her fears about them, about their separation, about their future, lived inside of her words in that document. That document had become the evidence of what was changing inside of her, of her heart reopening to the world...and to Booth.

Ever since Booth had returned from the off-base training exercise, she had talked to him daily. They shared little details about their days and about the people that they were working with now. Her nightmares had vanished into the darkness of the night. She was sleeping again. She was able to concentrate again. Her negative disposition had disappeared after Booth had returned. And they had fallen into an easy routine. They worked during the days and every night they would talk. It embarrassed her to say that she had grown accustomed to talking to him nightly, to sharing with him the inconsequential pieces of her day, to just hearing his voice. There were moments when she feared how dependent she had become on his phone calls and on him. She knew that she could not rely on him for her own happiness. She had to be able to make her own. She had to be able to function without him. It should be that simple. But it wasn't because she was no longer sure if she could be happy without him. Her life had somehow become intertwined in his and instead of fighting it, she was allowing it. She wanted it. She wanted him.

Sometimes, late in the night, she wondered what they would be doing if they were still in D.C. Would they be eating take-out and working on paperwork? Would Booth be dating someone else? Would she have allowed herself to admit that she was in love with Booth? Would she have allowed herself to want him, to need him? Would she have come to some of these realizations there? She didn't know the answer to her questions. She didn't know if she would have allowed herself to feel the multitude of emotions that she was feeling now. But none of that mattered. She was in Maluku and Booth was in Afghanistan. She was getting the perspective that she had desperately craved, and it was changing her. It was changing them.

Tonight she was already in bed, asleep, when the phone had finally rang. She answered it sleepily. "Brennan."

"Hey Bones, did I wake you?"

"Yes, but it's alright."

"Are you sure? I can let you go."

She pushed herself up in bed and allowing her back to rest against the pillows behind her. "I don't want to sleep. I want to talk to you."

"I didn't mean to wake you," Booth said softly.

"Are you okay, Booth?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

Brennan frowned. "You just don't seem… the tone of your voice indicates that something may be wrong."

"Everything is fine, Bones."

She hated when he was like this. When he was protective of his own emotions because he didn't want to risk hurting her. She hated that he shielded her from his thoughts, from his fears, because she wanted to help him. She needed to help him.

"Booth…"

"It's nothing," Booth interrupted. "I don't want you to worry about it. I'm fine."

"You are using the word 'fine' the same why I use the word, which can only mean that you are not actually fine."

"It's just been a long day, Bones."

"Maybe I can help," she suggested.

Her heart hammered in her chest. Fear crept inside of her skin. She didn't know if she wanted to know what was wrong. What if she couldn't do anything at all to help? What if it was her that was the problem?

"Bones, it's not that I don't want your help." His voice trailed of as if he was unsure of what to say next. He sighed heavily into the phone. "I don't know how to tell you what's wrong because I'm not even sure what's wrong."

"Did I do something?" She asked quietly.

She didn't even recognize her own voice. She was not this person. She was not a person who was afraid of other's reactions. This was not her. Except maybe it was. Recently, she had become concerned with how her words affected others. She had become more aware of how the harshness of her words, even if they were reality, could impact another human being. How her words could elicit an emotional response even though she had never intended to provoke one.

"What? Bones, you didn't do anything."

"Then, I don't understand."

"It's not something that I can explain. I don't know why today is harder. I don't know why I seem to be unable to function today. I just… can't."

"Perhaps you should do something that Sweets once suggested to me."

"You talked to Sweets?" Booth asked unable to hide the shock in his voice.

"It was when you were gone," she admitted. "I couldn't sleep. I kept having nightmares. I thought Sweets could help me figure out what to do."

"Bones…"

"Don't, Booth. Don't blame yourself for this."

"How can I not? Jesus, Bones, you couldn't sleep because I was off on a training exercise. I should have been there. I should have been able to help you."

"Is this what this is about?" Brennan asked gently. "Are you feeling guilty for not being able to be present in my life?"

"Of course this is what this is about," Booth snapped. "Of course I feel guilty that my actions caused you to have nightmares. I can't be there for you. I can't be there for Parker – "

"Did something happen to Parker?" Brennan interrupted.

"Nothing happened to Parker. It's just I'm not there. I'm not seeing him on the weekends. I don't get to pick him up from school and talk to him about his day. I get the delayed explanation of his day. Tiny details instead of the whole story. I don't see him, Bones. And I don't see you." His voice drifted away, leaving only the wind.

"I can't help you," he added softly. "I can't be there for you. I can't hold you when you get scared or make you eat when I know you haven't eaten in hours…"

"It isn't your job to make me eat, Booth."

"I worry about you," Booth said, ignoring her latest comment. "I worry that you're working too hard and no one is there to tell you to stop and take a break. I worry that something is going to happen to you and I'm not going to be able to leave to help you, to protect you."

"Booth, stop."

"Why? It's reality," Booth said bitterly. "I have made this our reality."

"You did not do this, Booth. We did this."

"If I hadn't pushed you – "

"Don't." She interrupted him before he could say anything more. "You told me that we couldn't play that game, Booth. You told me that I couldn't do the 'what ifs.' So, you can't either."

Her hand traveled to her neck, her fingers once more grasping for the pendant that rested there. It had become her lifeline. Her reminder that Booth was there with her even if she could not see him.

"I know that I'm difficult," she whispered. "I know I haven't made this easy on you. But I am trying. I'm trying to make this right. To do what I said I needed to do here."

"This isn't your fault either, Temperance. So, don't go blaming yourself."

"I started this, Booth. I'm the one who needed the perspective. I'm the one that wanted t come here. If I hadn't decided to come here, you would never have left Parker. You wouldn't be in Afghanistan right now."

"Bones, no…I made up my mind on my own. I did what I thought was best for me. I did what I wanted to do. Just like you did."

"You are honestly saying to me that if I had stayed you would have still gone to Afghanistan?"

"I don't know the answer to that. I don't know what I would have done." Booth sighed. "I just miss you. I miss the life that we were sharing in D.C. I miss Parker."

"I'm sorry, Booth."

"This isn't your fault. I didn't tell you this so that you would blame yourself."

"I don't." She could taste the lie on her tongue.

"Today was just a harder day."

"I have those days too," she admitted.

"What helps you? How do you make it through them?"

"I talk to you. I work…" She gripped the phone tighter in her hand. "I do what Sweets suggested I do."

"And what was that?" Booth asked lightly.

"I write."

"For your next book?"

"No. I write about how I'm feeling. It seems ridiculous. I feel foolish saying that I have a diary, but I do."

"Bones…"

"It's for you, Booth." She said the words quietly. She hadn't intended on telling him, on letting him in on her secret.

"What?"

"The things that I write inside of it are for you," she repeated. Her face reddened with embarrassment even though she knew Booth could not see her. "I didn't plan on telling you about it. I didn't want you to know. But it seems that you could benefit from the same release. I have found in the past that writing is a good way of releasing emotions and relieving stress."

"That's not the only release I need," Booth muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing," Booth said quickly.

"You need another type of release?"

"Bones," Booth groaned. "Please don't go there."

"Masturbation is a completely normal act, Booth. I don't know why you feel like you have to hide it from me."

"Bones! Please, let's just not talk about this."

"But, Booth it's completely normal for you to require – "

"Bones!"

"There is nothing to be embarrassed about," Brennan said, unable to understand Booth's unwillingness to talk about it. "I have masturbated since I have been in Maluku."

Booth coughed into the phone. "What?"

"I said that I've masturbated since I've been here," she repeated. "It is quite satisfying."

"You're not helping, Bones," Booth groaned. "The last thing that I need is the image of you masturbating in my head."

"Perhaps it will help you achieve the release that you desire."

"Temperance…"

"Do you need me to talk to you?" She asked innocently as if it was no big deal. "I'd be happy to – "

"No," Booth said firmly. "We aren't doing this. Not like this. Not over the phone."

"I don't understand."

"Let's just change the subject," Booth suggested.

Brennan frowned unable to understand why Booth was so uptight about certain sexual acts. She just wanted to help him.

After a few seconds of silence, Booth spoke. "I think I'm going to try that writing thing."

"I find it to be beneficial."

"Will I get to read it some day?"

Brennan fell silent. She wasn't sure if she was prepared to let him read it. She wasn't sure if she could handle him reading her most personal thoughts. But if anyone were going to read what she had written it would be him. He was the one that deserved to read it. She just needed to be willing to relinquish that control.

"Bones?"

"I'm not sure." She swallowed hard. "I'm not sure yet. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Bones."

"Why?"

"It's your diary. Your thoughts. I want you to let me read it only if you want me to read it."

"Maybe one day, Booth."

"One day. I think I'm okay with that."

"Do you feel better?"

"I do," Booth said happily. "Thank you, Bones."

She could hear the smile in his voice.

"You'd do the same for me."

"I'd do anything for you," Booth admitted tenderly.

"I know, Booth."

"Go to bed, Bones. It's late."

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm good now. Go to bed."

She closed her eyes. "I miss you."

The words exploded out of her mouth like soda erupting from a bottle. Her heart thumped wildly in her chest.

"I miss you too, Temperance," Booth said lovingly. "Now, go to bed."

"Goodnight, Booth."

She whispered her own goodnight before the line went dead and she closed her phone. She twisted her body underneath the covers, curling onto her side, facing the empty side of the bed, where one thought filled her brain. One singular thought.

She wanted to Booth to be on that other side. She was tired of it being empty.

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**Thanks for reading. What did you think of Booth's emotions? Anything you want to see happen in the story? If you have a second, I'd love to hear from you... **


	11. Chapter 10: Day 133

_**The Promise**_

**AN: **Once again I have too much crap to do. I just want you to know that I WILL respond to each of your reviews in the near future. I just need to get some things done because a big day is about to happen, and I need to get things done before it happens. So, instead of responding, I decided to post this chapter.

Again, I can't thank you all enough for the wonderful reviews. You guys leaving the reviews are the ones keeping me going and keeping me updating regularly. So **thank you.**

Enjoy.

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**Chapter 10: Day 133**

Boredom. It wasn't something that she was expecting to feel while she was in Maluku, but she was suffering from it. From complete and utter boredom. She tapped her pen on the pad of paper in front of her. Their project had slowed considerably over the past few weeks, and over the past few days it had gotten even worse. Of course she knew that there would be lulls in the Maluku project, but she hadn't expected to feel like this. To find herself longing for the days at the Jeffersonian when Booth would storm in and sweep her off to a crime scene. She wanted to solve a murder, to interview suspects, to do field work. She wanted to be involved in something suspenseful, to chase their prime suspect into a corner and cuff him, to fire her gun.

A worrisome sigh escaped from her mouth.

She had been tired of their work when she had accepted this position in Maluku. She had been worried sick over Booth's health, over him getting hurt protecting her or in the field. And now, she wanted it back. Or was it that she wanted Booth back? She didn't know. Her stomach was twisted in knots. She was conflicted and afraid. When they returned to D.C., they would be partners again. Could she work with him and love him at the same time? Could she really continue to not tell him that she loves him after all of this? Could she afford to bury those feelings so that she wouldn't lose him?

She didn't know.

Her brain ached.

Her heart clenched.

She was torn between what she had known since she was a teen and venturing into the unknown. Love. It made her queasy with insecurity. Fresh tears fell from her eyes and burned the skin of her cheeks like acid.

Insecurity. Logic. Heart. Reason. Love. Need. Want. Desire. Happiness. Fear.

The words tumbled inside of her head.

She needed the boredom to disappear. She needed one of the members of her team to find something, to move the process forward, to stop the wall that had somehow been built up around the project, preventing them from moving forward. She needed to distract herself so that these thoughts vanish. The decision did not need to be made now. She still had time. They still had 232 days to go.

232 days until she saw Booth again.

232 days.

It made her feel relief and pain all at once.

The knots inside of her stomach tightened.

XXXXXXXXXX

She tapped two of her fingers on her laptop's track pad, wakening it from its sleep. She opened her "For Booth" word document and stared at the words that sat on her computer screen. There was a part of her that wanted to read what she had written. A part of her that needed to read it to better understand what she was feeling. But there was also that part of her that knew she couldn't read the words that were written so erratically inside of that word document. They were her stream of consciousness. They were the words that rested inside of her heart and occasionally her mind. She was not prepared to read them yet.

She couldn't.

Without further thought on the matter, her fingers began to press against the keys of the laptop. Her stream of consciousness writing spilled into the word document in her computer.

_I didn't think that this was possible. I didn't think that I was the type of person that would be able to feel such a wide variety of emotions. I thought I had turned it off long ago. But he awakened something inside of me. He made tiny pieces of my heart open up to him. He made me feel something that I never wanted to feel again for fear of getting hurt, for fear of being left behind again. A part of me wants to ignore it, to shut it off like I have so many times before. But it is different with him. Everything is different with him. _

_I no longer feel like the same person I was when I left D.C. Something has shifted inside of me. I feel it in moments when I see others communicating with their spouses or significant others and it validates for me that the emotions that I am feeling are real. They aren't make-believe. Others feel the same way that I do. They have fits of irrational behavior, hours of loneliness, moments of sadness, and seconds of hopelessness. I have learned to notice them by the look in their eyes because it's the same look that I know I have, the same stinging feeling that takes over my gaze, or even the same bitter taste that forms in my throat. Normally, I would ask them to get their act together, to remember that they chose this, they accepted the project, but I don't. I don't say anything. I quietly allow them time to compose themselves and then we move on. _

_The only reason why I don't criticize them is because I have realized that I am one of them too. _

_I am one of them. He has made me one of them._

The sound of her phone ringing startled her out of her thoughts. Her gaze turned to her phone. She knew it was Booth. She didn't even bother looking at the display. Her fingers slowed on the keyboard until they rested lightly over the keys, unmoving. One hand fell away from her computer and grabbed the phone, flipping it open mindlessly.

"Brennan."

"Bones," Booth said breathily into the phone. "I've only got a second."

An eerie calm fell over her. She knew what was coming. Her heart dropped.

"Bones?" He repeated. He waited a second for her to respond, but when he heard nothing, not even a breath he spoke again. "Look Bones – "

"I know what you're going to say," she interrupted. Her voice was flat. Lifeless.

"Bones, I don't want to do this. I don't want to go through this again, but it's my job."

She closed her eyes. She had been dreading this day. The day where he would be forced to go off the base, leaving the safety that the base provided for the unknown war zone once more. She could feel the hurt of this sudden development in her bones.

"Temperance, please," Booth begged. "Say something."

"You're leaving."

They were the only words she could manage. The rest seemed to be caught in her throat, strangling her.

"It's my job. I don't have a choice."

"I understand."

Her words were simple. They were void of emotion. She couldn't deal with this again.

Booth sighed. "You don't."

The wind of the desert blew through the phone. She remained silent.

"I know this isn't easy," Booth said softly. "I know that you're trying to figure some things out and you're worried, but we got through this before, we can do it again."

"That isn't what this is about," Brennan denied.

She was lying. To Booth. The thought stung.

"Then, what is it about?" Booth asked.

"Nothing, Booth. It's about nothing."

"Temperance…"

"Stop it, Booth. Stop using my first name like it's going to magically make me open up to you."

"So, this is how we're going to do this?" Booth said bitterly. "We're going to argue before I leave, so that you can compartmentalize."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Stop playing games with me, Bones."

"I don't know what that means."

"Damn it Bones, don't do this," Booth snapped.

She held the phone tighter in her hand. Her gaze wandered towards her computer screen. She couldn't help but read the words she had written moments before. _I am one of them. He has made me one of them. _Her words echoed inside of her mind. Her reality, her truth, confronted her in her words. She was one of the people that had been left behind. Even though she was afar as well, even though she was living an independent life from Booth's, she was still attached to him. They were strung together like Christmas lights. No matter how far apart they were, she would always be attached to him. He was Booth. And he held her heart even though they were thousands of miles apart.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I don't mean to – "

"I know," Booth interrupted. "I know you don't. I'm sorry I snapped."

"I don't want you to go," she admitted quietly. She cleared her throat and repeated more firmly, "I don't want you to go."

"Temperance, I know this isn't easy."

"I don't care if it's not easy, Booth. We talked about this. You promised me that you'd be careful. You promised me that you wouldn't be you."

She had the distinct feeling of déjà vu. It hadn't been too long ago that she had said these words to him when he had left the base the first time. But she needed to say them. She needed to remind him of his promise to her. He needed to remember, to remember not to jump in front of any bullets or act like the hero because she needed him to come back alive.

"We talked about this last time," Booth said softly. "I promise that I'll be careful. I promise that I won't be me and I'll come back, Bones. I'll be back within days and it'll be like I never left."

"Don't say that."

"What?"

"Don't promise me that, Booth. Don't promise me something you can't 100% keep."

"Bones, it's a training mission. Nothing more."

"I don't care," she said each word slowly, making sure that he understood.

"I don't have a choice, Bones," Booth said sadly.

"I know," she swallowed. "I'm just not sure that I'm going to make it. I don't know when I became this person. I don't know when I became so dependent on you."

"It's not a bad thing, Bones."

"It is for me, Booth. I have to be able to function. The last time you were gone I could barely…" Her voice trailed off. She had admitted tiny portions of what had happened during the last time he had left the base, but never the level of her inability to function.

"Barely what?"

She took a deep breath. "I could barely concentrate, Booth. I could barely work. I couldn't compartmentalize. I couldn't push you aside into a corner of my brain. You've overtaken every part of me."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

Her eyes burned. Her throat itched. Emotions boiled to the surface. She breathed in and out. In and out. In and out until the words fell out.

"It isn't a bad thing. I just can't function the same anymore without you, Booth. When you're gone, when you're off of that base, I worry about you. I worry about what might happen to you, and I can't stop it. And I just want you back."

"Temperance…"

"You just… you need to know Booth, you need to know how much I care before you leave for this one. I need you to know that I care."

"I know you care, Temperance."

"I more than care, Booth," she breathed.

"I know," Booth said gently. "I was just waiting for you to realize it and be okay with it."

"I'm working on it."

"I know you are. I know it isn't easy for you. But it will be worth it. I promise you, Temperance. It will be worth it."

Her teeth scrapped over her lower lip. She needed to hear him say the words. She knew that she didn't deserve them; that she had done nothing to deserve them, but she needed to hear them.

"I love you, Bones," Booth said as if he read her mind. "Don't forget that while I'm gone, okay?" He waited a second before he repeated those three words once more. "I love you."

Fresh tears dripped from her tired eyes. "Just… come back to me, Booth. Please," she begged. "Please come back to me."

"I will, Bones. I will."

She swiped at her eyes angrily. She was tired of the tears, tired of the emotions, but she knew it came with the territory and she wanted it. She wanted it with Booth.

"You have my heart, Booth," she admitted quietly.

"I know I do, Temperance."

"Please be careful with it."

"You know I will."

A gust of wind swooshed through the phone. In the background she heard voices shouting.

"I have to go," Booth said sadly. "I'm sorry. I have to go."

"Be careful, Booth."

"Take care of yourself, Temperance. I'll be back soon."

Her free hand wandered towards the pendant around her neck. "See you later."

He mumbled his own "see you later" and then he was gone. She closed her phone and set it back down on the desk, turning her attention immediately back towards her computer. Tears continued to fall from her eyes unnoticed. She didn't care. Her fingers hit the keys of her laptop once more.

Emotions. Desires. Fears. They all spilled out into the word document once more.

He was gone again.

The pain spread fully across every limp of her body.

He was gone.

* * *

**Thoughts? Concerns? Thanks for reading. Drop me a line if you have a second...**


	12. Chapter 11: Day 150

_**The Promise**_

**AN: ** Again, I have to apologize for the lateness of this and for the longer wait. Besides my husband coming back from being deployed this week, there has been some other stuff going on, so getting this written was a little bit more challenging. Good news is, the next chapter won't take as long.

Also, I still haven't responded to all of your reviews. I'm so sorry. I appreciate them so very much. Those reviews are what kept me motivated this week to get this written. They are what made me know that I couldn't wait another day… that this had to go up.

So here it is. I hope you enjoy. Thank you again for all of the support! You guys made this chapter happen!

* * *

**Chapter 11: Day 150**

16 long days had passed. 16 nights without sleep. 16 days of constant worrying if Booth was all right; if he was doing what he promised, if he was running away from danger instead of towards it. Every single second of her days were now muffled by the absence of Booth. She'd been down this road not long ago, yet it all felt the same. She was like a caged animal controlled by only one thing. Fear.

It had only taken her co-workers a day to figure out that something was wrong. Now, they steered away from her for the most part, afraid that they would befall the same fate that Daisy had endured the last time Booth had disappeared into the sand. She couldn't blame them. She knew she was no longer good at compartmentalizing when it came to Booth. She hadn't been for a long time. It was only in their recent months of separation that she was beginning to realize just how much Booth had infiltrated her mind, her body, and her heart. He was everywhere all the time even though he wasn't actually there. He was like a ghost, haunting her, not allowing her to move on or to even just get by on a daily basis.

It wasn't that she wanted to forget him, or move on, or run away. She just wanted to be able to work, to exist. She wanted to be able to complete her daily tasks, to work in an efficient manner, to not worry about the cell phone in her back pocket ringing. She wanted to feel like she wasn't wallowing in the fear and the pain of Booth being off base and in more eminent danger once more. She wanted to be able to pick up the fibula bone she had been working on for days now and know what to do. Instead, she continued to stare at it, her mind wandering. Thoughts of Booth dying, Booth wounded, or even Booth imprisoned tormented her brain. She was unable to make a coherent thought, to sleep, to be sociable. It was illogical. She knew she was acting based solely on her heart; that she was letting her heart triumph over her brain, but she didn't care. She didn't know when it had happened. She didn't know when she had stopped caring about which part of her was acting when. Her brain. Her heart. It didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was Booth… and them.

She wanted there to be a "them."

She closed her eyes.

_She wanted there to be a "them."_

XXXXXX

The quiet of her hut was bothering her. She knew it was odd; after all she did live alone back home, but tonight there was something eerie about the silence and her thoughts seemed to be focused on Booth. She couldn't escape him, no matter how much she wrote in her word document. He was everywhere.

She pushed back out of her chair and stood, hesitantly moving towards the door. She could hear them outside, a cluster of her coworkers laughing, mingling, and enjoying each other's company. She was jealous of them. Jealous of their ability to leave their worries and fears behind and just enjoy themselves for an evening. Her feet slowed to a halt by the door of her hut. Everyone had been avoiding her for days now, afraid that her recent volatile would next find a target in one of them. A part of her worried that by going outside she would only diminish their fun, or make everyone uncomfortable. But a part of her was also tired. Tired of the imposed and not-so self-imposed isolation. Tired of having no one to talk to on this damn island.

Without a second thought, she exited her hut and made her way towards the medium sized gathering of her co-workers.

Daisy was the first to notice her walking towards them.

"Dr. Brennan," Daisy exclaimed. "Is everything all right?"

Brennan slowed in front of the group. Her eyes scanned the crowd. She noticed that many of her coworkers' postures had stiffened; that the smiles on their faces had slowly fallen away. Usually, she wouldn't notice their reactions. Usually, she wouldn't care about their reactions. But today, it bothered her. It reminded her that she wasn't the people person that Booth was. It reminded her of everything that she wasn't. It reminded her of how Booth seemed to complete her.

"Dr. Brennan?" Daisy questioned.

Brennan frowned. "I apologize. I didn't mean to interrupt."

She turned abruptly, leaving the group of her coworkers behind. She felt like a fool, like an outsider. None of her coworkers wanted to talk to her, and why would they? She had spent the past few months pushing them away. Her emotions were up and down. She was like a rollercoaster ride, and when she was down, she took it out on them.

She couldn't blame them for not wanting to talk to her.

She couldn't blame them for their reactions.

"Dr. Brennan, wait!" Daisy yelled from behind her.

Brennan heard Daisy's footsteps behind her, but she didn't slow. She kept moving forward, back to her hut, back inside of sanctuary. She felt Daisy's hand on her shoulder. A tiny part of her wanted to spin and take her down, to flatten her on the ground, but she knew she couldn't. She knew that laying Daisy flat on the ground would merely be a result of misguided anger. Even though she wasn't really that angry. She wasn't angry with Booth, with her coworkers, or with anyone. Anyone except herself. She had caused this.

This was her fault.

"Dr. Brennan," Daisy said, her hand tightening on Brennan's shoulder. "Please, I'd like to speak with you."

Brennan came to a stop, turning to face Daisy. "How can I help you?"

Her voice was cold and detached.

Daisy removed her hand from Brennan's shoulder. "I just wanted to make sure that you're all right."

"Why wouldn't I be all right?"

"The others and I have noticed a shift in your – "

"Everything is fine, Daisy," Brennan interrupted. "I appreciate your concern, but I am fine."

The lie tasted like acid. She knew she was not fine. Every one of her coworkers knew that she was not fine. Their avoidance of her was a clear indicator of that. But admitting to Daisy or any one of them that she was not fine was not something that she was prepared to do. Not because of what it would mean, but because she didn't want to talk about it.

She didn't want to talk about it with anyone but Booth.

"It's okay if you're not," Daisy said softly. "I miss my Lancelot. There are nights when I find myself crying and I'm not even sure what started it." She paused for a moment before continuing. "I know that it must be difficult for you to be separated from Agent Booth, Dr. Brennan, but if you talk about it with someone, it can make things better. I know what it's like to leave someone behind. I'd be willing to – "

"You don't know what it's like," Brennan snapped. "Booth is in a war zone, Daisy. His life is at risk on a daily basis. He's not back in D.C. twiddling his thumbs while he practices the inane field of psychology."

"Dr. Brennan…"

"To insinuate that what you are going through and what I am going through is the same thing is ludicrous," Brennan finished.

Daisy's posture slackened. The brightness in her eyes faded. "I was just trying to help. I'm sorry if I overstepped my bounds."

Brennan watched as Daisy slowly began to fall apart in front of her. She hadn't meant to be so mean, to be so confrontational. She knew that Daisy's separation from Sweets was probably not easy, especially since they had also parted on dangerous ground. And she knew that being separated from a loved one in any capacity was heart-wrenching. In a war zone or not, no prolonged separations were easy.

Hesitantly she reached forward, patting Daisy on the shoulder with an open hand. "I apologize, Daisy. I am sure your separation from Sweets is not easy."

"It's not, but I asked him to come with me and he didn't. That has to mean something."

"You asked him to give up his practice for a year, Daisy. I think you should take that into account before assuming that Sweets' decline of your invitation means something."

"And what about Agent Booth?" Daisy asked boldly. "What if you had asked Agent Booth to come with you and he said 'no'?"

Brennan's back stiffened. What if she had asked Booth to come with her? Would he have said yes? Would he have still gone to Afghanistan? Would she have understood if he had said no? Questions assaulted her mind. She didn't know if she would have understood. She didn't know if she would have even been able to ask him.

"I didn't ask Booth to come with me, Daisy. We're just partners."

"Do you really believe that?"

"It is the truth," Brennan said. "Booth and I are partners. Nothing more."

"I've talked to Sweets, Dr. Brennan. I know – "

"Sweets know nothing about our relationship," Brennan interrupted.

"He knows more than you think."

"He knows what we want him to know," Brennan argued.

Daisy straightened. "Agent Booth is in love with you, Dr. Brennan."

"That is none of your business."

"Everyone can see it except for you," Daisy continued. "Everyone can see that he is madly in love with you, that he'd do anything for you."

Brennan's eyes closed. She knew all of this. She knew because he had told her. When he had admitted to her that he was in love with her, that he wanted to be with her forever on the steps of the J. Edgar Hoover Building, she had denied him, afraid that she would lose him like she had everyone else that she loved. But now, over 100 days later, she was finally beginning to see the error in her decision. Everyone could see how much he loved her. And now she could as well.

"I have to go," Brennan whispered.

She turned away from Daisy and began walking towards her hut once more.

"Dr. Brennan," Daisy yelled.

Brennan stopped, turning briefly to gaze at Daisy.

Daisy smiled broadly at Brennan. "Don't give up on him."

Brennan nodded curtly at Daisy before she turned and continued on towards her hut. Behind her she heard Daisy rejoin their coworkers. Their laughter echoed in the otherwise silent night. A sting of sadness spread across her body. She missed the Jeffersonian. She missed Angela and Hodgins. She missed Cam. She missed the team that she had somehow become a part of. She had never meant for it to happen, but it had. Somehow all of her coworkers at the Jeffersonian had become her family, and listening to the laughter of her new coworkers made her miss her family. It made her miss the dinners and drinks that they all shared after they solved another case. And if possible, it made her miss Booth even more.

She opened the door to her hut and moved inside, locking the door shut before she moved towards her computer. It took her a second to notice, a second to recognize that her cell phone was resting beside her laptop. It wasn't in her back pocket. It was there, on her desk. Her chest tightened. She had left her phone behind. Her eyes flooded with tears.

She reached for her phone. Her fingers trembled as they latched around it. She held her breath as she opened her phone, willing there to be no missed calls. It took less than a second and she knew.

_One missed call. Booth._

She had missed his call. She hadn't been there. She pressed the call button and waited, listening to the phone ring and ring. But there was no answer.

Booth was not answering. She had missed him. She hadn't heard his voice and it was her fault. She had been careless and forgotten her phone.

Her heart felt like it was splintering. She felt shattered.

It was then that the unshed tears that had pooled in her eyes began to fall.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you have a second, I'd love to hear from you. **


	13. Chapter 12: Day 188

_**The Promise**_

**AN: ** It seems like every time I've started my author's notes these days, I've been apologizing. And I have to apologize, again. I know the updates aren't as frequent. I'm really working on that and trying to get these out faster. I hope you understand how life can sometimes overtake everything... and that's what's happening here.

I still haven't responded to all of your amazing reviews because I thought an update was more important. But please know that I appreciate them greatly. This chapter would not have been written this quickly if it weren't for your reviews and your appreciation of this story.

With that said, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I am hoping to have the next one up by the end of the week. And you know… encouragement always helps.

* * *

**Chapter 12: Day 188**

Love. She knew what the word meant. She'd memorized it years ago shortly after Russ and her parents had left her behind. She was certain that at some point in her life, before all the darkness had swallowed her, that she had experienced the emotion. She'd experienced the feeling of knowing that she would do anything for another person because of her own strong emotional affection for the person. She'd experienced the belief that the person that she loved could do no wrong. What she hadn't experienced before was the out-of-control feeling that simmered inside of her, waiting to catch fire. She hadn't experienced the possessiveness that she felt now, or even the need to talk to the person daily. She hadn't experienced the all-consuming thoughts, the inability to function, or the fear that the person did not really feel the same way. The fear that once the person knew her, knew her insecurities, her faults, her imperfections, that the person would leave her. Just like her parents and Russ had left her. And then, she'd be alone again, left to pick up the pieces.

She'd known for a while that she was in love with Booth. She'd known before she'd left for Maluku, but she'd buried it. She'd willed herself to fight against it, to ignore it, to remember that the last time that she had let her guard down she got hurt. But ever since Booth had returned from his second training exercise away from the base, she had the overwhelming desire to tell him. She had wanted to tell him how she loved him, how she felt like she couldn't live without him, how she wanted to be with him for 30, 40 or 50 years. She wanted him. But the fear that festered inside of her, the shattered pieces of her that still existed from her past, continued to silence her. And she continued to remind herself that she was good at being alone. She had perfected it. She was comfortable that way. She told herself that she would hurt him. She would drive him away and then she would have no one. It was a given. Because she didn't know how to do this. She didn't know how to be in love. She knew the definition, but she didn't know how to give herself to someone, to let her guard down. She didn't know how to actually love someone. And Booth deserved better. He deserved so much more than her.

XXXXXXX

The clock on her bedside table hit 3am. She turned over in bed, angry. She was still awake and it was Booth's fault. It was his fault because today he had forgotten to call her. Or, he had just chosen not to call her. She didn't know which one and frankly she didn't care. The fact of the matter was that she hadn't heard from him and the wheels in her brain wouldn't stop spinning, making it impossible for her to sleep.

Hours earlier she had tried writing in her "For Booth" document. When that didn't work she had turned to work. And when that didn't work, she turned to reading. But nothing helped. Nothing lulled her to sleep. Instead, she was left lying in bed with the anger that was festering inside of her. Each minute that she couldn't sleep, the anger swelled and bubbled inside of her like water beginning to boil.

Her eyes remained trained on the makeshift roof above her. She took deep breaths, trying to let the anger dissolve inside of her, but it clung to her like static, and she felt stuck. She wasn't even sure why she was angry. She knew that Booth was busy, that he had a job to do. She knew that not every day he could call her. But this was the first time she hadn't heard from him since she had missed his call weeks ago. He had always managed to find the time to call her, even if it was for just a minute. And tonight, she had gotten nothing. She knew that she should be worried and not angry, but she didn't care. Worry wasn't the emotion that was building inside of her. It wasn't the emotion that was keeping her awake. It wasn't the emotion that was swallowing her whole.

She turned her head, her eyes scanning the clock once more. Only five minutes had passed. The phone that sat beside her clock remained silent. A part of her wanted to pick up her phone and chuck it across the room. She wanted to watch it shatter on the floor, breaking into pieces because she was tired of living her life attached to a phone. She was tired of waiting for it to ring. She was tired of feeling like she couldn't even go to the bathroom without it. She was tired of the fear that she would miss his call again.

On the night that she had missed Booth's call weeks ago, she didn't sleep. She couldn't. She had merely lain beside her phone, waiting. Waiting for him to call again. To hear his voice. To feel the reassurance from him that he was in fact alive, that he was breathing. It wasn't until evening on the next day that he had called again. Ever since then, she never left her hut or her workspace without making sure that her phone was in her hand or in her pocket. It made her feel pathetic. It made her feel clingy and needy, but she needed it. She needed those conversations with Booth. She needed to verify for herself that he was okay. She needed to talk to him, to listen to him tell her about his day.

She needed him.

So, she learned to deal with the phone. She learned to accept its presence in her daily life. But tonight… tonight she hated it. Tonight she hated the attachment she had to it. Tonight she wanted to throw it outside and forget that it even existed. But she didn't. Because she knew that missing his phone call again would be worse than lying in wait.

XXXXXXX

She turned over in bed, staring at the clock for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. 6:07am. It was finally late enough for her to get up. She threw the covers off of her and moved towards the edge of the bed. Her gaze wandered towards her phone. It had remained silent all night. Booth's specialized ring tone had never erupted in the silence of the night. Anger still bubbled inside of her.

She marched towards the bathroom, slowly going through her morning routine. She stood at her sink, staring at her reflection; she felt defeated. Her skin had a gentle tan to it. Her brown hair was lightened from the sun. Everything about her screamed vacation except for her eyes. They told a different story. Dark circles enveloped them. Her eyelids hung heavily over them, casting a shadow over the darkness that had already found a home inside of them. Her body sagged over the sink, exhaustion settling into her bones. With weak hands she turned the handle of the faucet before sticking her hands into the water and splashing it onto her face. The coolness of the water hit her hard, awakening her from the haze she seemed to be stuck in. She splashed water onto her face one final time before turning it off and walking back into the main area of her hut.

She wandered towards the dresser that she had placed all of her clothes in on the first day, pulling out an outfit for the day. She stripped herself of her pajamas and slowly began to pull on her clothing for the day. She slipped on her panties and bra quickly, before moving to her Capri pants and t-shirt.

Her phone finally rang when she had finished buttoning the fly of her pants. With her shirt in hand she took a few steps and reached for her phone. She stared at it for a second, watching as the screen flashed the word "Booth" across it. A tiny part of her wanted to let it go to voicemail. She wanted to ignore it, to prove to herself and to him, that she didn't need him, that she didn't need to talk to him to be happy. But her hands acted before she could talk herself out of answering.

"Brennan," she answered. She kept her voice low and monotone.

"Bones? You okay?"

"Everything's fine, Booth."

Booth sighed heavily into the phone. "There's that word again."

"Booth, I'm quite busy getting ready to start my day. So, if there's nothing you need – "

"Bones," Booth interrupted. "Since when do you not want to talk to me?"

She wanted to scream into the phone. To yell and angrily tell him that she had been waiting for him to call her all night, but her brain silenced her. Booth didn't need to know that she had been waiting for his phone call. He didn't need to know that she hung on his every word; that she didn't think she could go a day without talking to him anymore.

"Bones?"

"I've got a busy day, Booth."

"Cut the crap, Bones," Booth spat into the phone. "Look, I know something's wrong. I know you. Don't you know that by now? I know that you're scared and that you're struggling right now, but damn it Bones, I deserve more than a damn brush off."

"I don't know what that means."

She remained defiant, unwilling to let another piece of brick disappear from the wall that she had carefully constructed around her heart. There were already enough pieces of brick missing from it.

"Damn it, Bones. You know what I'm talking about," Booth snapped. "Don't give me that shit."

Silence fell between them. Brennan stared at her bed. The bed that she had just spent the entire night unable to sleep because of him, because of the love that had been eating away at her.

Booth breathed heavily into the phone. "I can't help you or help us work this out unless I know what's going on, Bones. You've got to communicate with me."

"We're partners, Booth. I communicate with you effectively for what our relationship is. A partnership. You don't need to know every fucking thing about my life."

The anger dripped out of her like syrup from a bottle.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me, Bones," Booth roared. "Partners? That's it? That's all you're willing to give me after everything we've been through? After all we've done for each other? After all of this, you're still willing to say that we're just partners? You're unbelievable."

Tears formed in her darkened eyes. She knew that he would be mad. She knew that her continued avoidance of her feelings would eventually get to him, but she wasn't expecting this. She didn't know what she actually did expect, but she knew it wasn't this.

Her heart hammered in her chest. Her stomach churned. Fear flowed through her body. She didn't want to lose him, but she continued to push him away. Tears tracked down her cheeks. She knew what the answer was. She knew that her fear of losing him conquered her fear of allowing herself to admit that she loved him. She knew what it meant.

"I'm sorry, Booth," she cried. "I don't know what to do. I'm afraid and I don't know if I can handle this. I don't know if I'm able to do this."

"Bones…"

"No, just… listen to me," she breathed. "I need you to listen to me."

"Okay." His voice was soft and filled with concern.

"You didn't call me tonight. I waited for you to call. I couldn't sleep. I waited by the phone, waiting for it to ring, but it never did, at least not until now. And I was angry. I was angry at you for not calling me. I was angry at you for making me care. I was angry at you for making me need you." She hesitated for a second before continuing. "Somewhere along the way during this separation, I've become dependent on you. I carry my phone with me everywhere. I don't let it out of my sight because I don't want to miss a phone call from you. It's unnerving. It's overwhelming. I never thought I would become one of those women. I never thought that I'd wait to hear from you, that I'd need to hear your voice daily, that I'd need you as much as I do. I never thought that I'd feel this way about anyone."

Her voice trailed off. She let the words sink in; hoping that Booth would understand what she was trying to say without saying the words.

"Bones…" Booth said gently. "It's okay to feel these emotions. It's okay to feel out of control. It's okay to be angry or sad. It's okay to be afraid."

"Do you understand what I'm saying, Booth?" She asked, ignoring him.

"I need to hear you say it, Bones."

Her heart pounded in her chest. "Why?"

"I need to hear it. I need to know that it's the truth."

Her hand's grip on her cell phone tightened. She breathed heavily into the mouthpiece. "Booth…"

"I love you, Temperance," Booth reminded her tenderly. "I love everything about you."

She swallowed past the lump that had formed in her throat, past the fear that had been trying to strangle her ever since she had answered the phone. Her brain had turned off. It was her heart that was afraid. Bricks had been falling for the wall around her heart and it was almost completely torn down. These final three words would be the last of it. They would destroy the wall. And she needed to be ready for it.

She took one final deep breath before she silenced the fear by stuffing it away into one of the vacant compartments in her brain. She closed her eyes, letting the words fall from her mouth one by one. "I love you."

Booth sighed heavily into the phone. "I love you too, Temperance. More than you know."

Her free hand swiped at the tears that were falling from her eyes. "I don't know when it happened, but somewhere along the way I fell in love with you."

"Is that okay with you?"

Her tumbling insides slowly began to calm. She smiled against the phone. "I think so."

"You think so?"

"I think you're the only person that I could ever love," she said openly. "I think that you're the only one that I would ever let myself love."

"Then, I'm one lucky man."

Laughter bubbled out of her. The anger that she had felt all night was suddenly gone. The weight that she had felt upon her for weeks now seemed to have disappeared. She felt free. She felt alive.

"And for the record," Booth added. "I need you too."

And that was it. The final brick that constructed the wall around her heart fell. She was exposed. She was free.

She was in love.

* * *

**She did it. She finally admitted it. Did you like it? If you have a second, I'd love to hear from you...**


	14. Chapter 13: Day 200

_**The Promise**_

**AN: ** So…I clearly didn't get this one up as soon as I wanted to. Blame my life. Blame all the crap that seems to be going on right now. But I'm not going to talk about that. I have to written. It's here and hopefully the next one will be up shortly after this one.

Anyway. The response to the last chapter was amazing you guys. Thank you so much for your wonderful support. This story means a lot to me and I'm so glad that you guys are enjoying reading it as much as I'm enjoying writing it.

With that said, again, your amazing support helped me get this chapter written through the madness. Thank you all for that. I really appreciate it.

I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last…all the encouragement has definitely helped me keep this going.

* * *

**Chapter 13: Day 200**

Almost two weeks had passed since she had admitted her love to Booth. They hadn't spoken of it again. It wasn't that she wasn't willing to talk about it, and it wasn't that she didn't want to. It was that they both knew that right now, neither of them could do a thing about it. They couldn't touch each other. They couldn't go on a date. They couldn't do all the normal things that a budding relationship would require. So, it became something that lurked in the shadows, haunting them.

After the fourth day had passed without Booth talking about her admission, she couldn't help the fear that crept inside of her. Did he regret his own admission of love? Did he no longer feel the same way? Had he met someone else? The questions hounded her, making her anxious and on edge. She knew that there was an easy solution. She knew that she could ask him, but the anxiety and fear that seemed to have taken up residence inside of her made it hard for her to say a word. So she fell silent. She spoke to him daily as if everything was normal, except it wasn't. She was confused. She was scared. And she felt alone… still.

The wall that had surrounded her heart for years was gone. The emotions stirred inside of her like ingredients in a mixing bowl. Some days different ingredients were heavier than others. Some days she could handle Booth's apparent reluctance to discuss the matter further. And other days she felt as if it were going to rip her to shreds.

This was one of the days where she felt like she was being torn apart.

XXXXXX

Her fingers settled onto the keyboard of her laptop. Her "For Booth" document was open on the screen. She had been staring at it for the last five minutes, not reading a word of what was written inside. She needed to write. She hadn't written in the document for days. Thoughts were building up inside of her and she needed to purge them before they became too much and overwhelmed her. But she didn't know where to start. So she waited. She waited for the place to start to find her.

The cursor blinked on the screen. Her fingers tapped lightly on the keys impatiently waiting for her to make up her mind. Minutes continued to pass. She continued to stare idly at the screen.

Her phone buzzed beside her. She turned her head away from the computer. Booth's name flashed across the screen. She didn't hesitate to answer it.

"Brennan."

"Hi, Bones," Booth responded softly. "How's it going today?"

With a firm hand, she closed her laptop, unwilling to look at the document in front of her any longer. "We had another successful day for the project."

"That's great, Bones."

"Yes, I'm quite pleased with the amount of work that we've been able to accomplish over the past few days."

What she wasn't saying was that she was doing most of the work. She was doing it to distract herself. To occupy her mind so that she didn't spend more time worrying about Booth and their relationship than she already was.

"That must be nice," Booth said distractedly.

Brennan frowned. Seeds of anxiety began to boom inside of her. "Is there something wrong, Booth?"

"Everything's great here, Bones. Why?"

"You just…" She stopped for a second before continuing. "You don't seem like yourself today."

Booth sighed heavily into the phone. "Things have been more challenging over the last few days."

Anxiety sparked inside of her, traveling through her veins.

"Is it because of what I said?" She asked softly.

"What?" Booth stammered. "Bones, no. It isn't because of what you said." He took a deep breath. "To tell you the truth that's the only thing that's been keeping me going the past few days."

"I don't understand."

"You're the only thing that's been keeping me afloat the past few days, Bones. You're the reason why I'm able to get through the day, why I'm able to keep going even when I get twenty wrong answers and an absolute no."

"Booth, I don't understand – "

"What I'm trying to say here is that the funk I've been in has nothing to do with you," Booth interrupted. "You keep me going."

She thought about the last few days. She thought about her fears, about her varying emotions. And she knew it all made sense. There was a part of her that knew something was wrong. She knew the scale was tipped.

"Is that why you haven't been talking about my admission?"

"Bones…"

"No, Booth. I said things to you. I let my walls come crumbling down for you and we haven't talked about it since that moment. You haven't…" She choked on her words, emotions overflowing inside of her. Tears pooled in her eyes. "You haven't said anything about it since that night, Booth. Nothing. I didn't know what to think. I still don't know what to think."

"I'm sorry," Booth breathed. "I'm sorry. You should have said something, Bones. You should have told me how you were feeling."

Brennan remained quiet, unsure of herself. Unsure if there was anything more in this moment that she wanted to say.

"This isn't how I planned for this to happen, Bones."

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean I didn't plan on this happening while we're separated. While we're in two different countries," Booth admitted sadly. "I didn't plan for this to happen after being separated for over half a year." He swallowed thickly into the phone. "I always thought that we'd be together. That I would get to take you out and kiss you goodnight. That I would get to slowly date you, to show you the differences between your partner and your lover."

Brennan frowned. "But we can still have that, Booth. It will just be delayed."

"That's just it. I didn't want it to happen this way. I didn't want to not be able to pull you into my arms and kiss you immediately. I didn't want to be stuck on the phone telling you that I love you too."

"Booth…"

"I know it's foolish. I know that life doesn't always happen the way we want it to. But damn it I wanted to be next to you when you finally said those words to me. I wanted to be able to take you out the next night and kiss you goodnight at your door. I wanted to show you that this could work."

"Booth, we can still have all those things," she reasoned. "We can still have a first date and we can kiss goodnight, even though it's foolish to think that nothing more than kissing will happen. You can still show me the differences between the man I work with and the man I get to sleep beside. It will just come later."

"I don't want it to come later. I don't want to wait."

She couldn't stop the small smile from spreading across her face. And the anxiety that had been flowing through her veins like an electric charge finally simmered. He didn't regret it. He wasn't ignoring it. He was trying to get by. Just like she was.

"I tried to get leave to see you," Booth blurted suddenly. "In fact, I've tried repeatedly but they aren't having it. I'm sorry, Bones. I wanted to come to Maluku. I wanted to see you."

Brennan noted that this was the first time that Booth had said "Maluku" correctly, and because she knew him, she knew why he did. He was serious. This wasn't a joke. This wasn't something that he wanted to laugh off or brush aside. This had been bothering him ever since she had asked, and probably even more after she had finally admitted her love to him. And because she knew him, she knew how to help him. She knew exactly what he needed to hear.

"Booth, this isn't your fault." She said the words clearly and slowly, hesitating for only a second before continuing. "We both chose this. We did this. And if anything I played more a role in this than you did. I'm the one that wasn't sure. I'm the one that needed the break, the time, the space. I'm the one that needed to figure it out. You knew and I made you wait. This isn't your fault, Booth. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine."

"This is not your fault, Bones," he said emphatically. "None of this is your fault."

"Then, it can't be your fault either," Brennan said logically.

Booth sighed heavily into the phone. "Bones…"

"It can't be your fault and not my fault as well. That isn't how this is going to work."

"Bones," he repeated.

"No, Booth. We're not going to start whatever this is between us out that way. You think that us not being together is your fault. It isn't. Yes, I understand that it is unfortunate that we are not together in this moment, but we can make up for it. There is time."

"But what if there isn't time? What if the time we're spending apart is all the time we've got?" He paused for a second, and then added, "What if something happens to you? What if something happens to me? What if we never get the chance - "

"Stop," Brennan snapped. "You have to stop."

Her heart jumped inside of her chest. Her eyes slammed shut. She tried to keep the thoughts out. She tried to keep the "what ifs" from slipping inside of her already crammed brain, but some of them made it through. Some of them swam with her already darkened thoughts. Panic seized her. What if something did happen? What if one of them didn't make it through this separation? She felt the darkness pulling her under.

"Bones? Are you okay?" Booth asked with concern.

She couldn't open her mouth. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't speak. Her eyes opened in fear. The panic that swirled inside of her like a tornado was growing. Her thoughts were scrambled inside of her aching mind. The damage of the storm inside of her was spreading.

"Bones?"

A strangled cry fell from her mouth. She brought her free hand up, covering her mouth, embarrassed that she had allowed the cry to slip out. She hadn't wanted him to know. She hadn't wanted him to be aware of how his words had hurt her, how they had been the humidity on a warm day, causing the storm to appear.

"Bones, come on. Talk to me," Booth begged.

Free tears dripped from her eyes. She didn't bother to swipe them away. No one could see her now. She was alone. She was protected from judgment. The image of Booth lying in the sand on the desert floor, bleeding, filled her mind, assaulting her already under siege brain. It was too much. Her hands trembled. The room around her began to shake. Her breaths were wrapped and weak. She needed oxygen.

"Bones," Booth said urgently. "Bones, you have to listen to me. You have to listen to the sound of my voice. You have to focus on that, okay? Just, focus on me. Focus on what I'm saying, baby. Take slow, deep breaths. I shouldn't have said what I said. I'm sorry. Nothing is going to happen to me, Bones. Or to you. We're going to make it out of this and when we do, I'm going to take you on the best damn date of your life."

She took a long, steady breath. The red of Booth's blood from the image continued to seep through her thoughts.

"Good, Bones. Good. Take another one for me."

She took another deep breath. She felt her body relax. She felt her tears begin to dry.

"I'm sorry, Bones. I didn't mean to – "

"It's fine," she interrupted. "I know you didn't know."

"Is it always that bad?" Booth asked gently.

"Is what always that bad?"

"When you think about that, when you have dreams about me dying, is your reaction always that bad?"

"Sometimes," she admitted softly. "Sometimes they are worse."

"Bones…"

"It isn't your fault, Booth."

"Maybe you should talk to someone – "

"No." Brennan denied him instantly. "I'm already taking measures to help myself work through them. I'll be fine. It'll be better once we're together again. It'll be better when you're not over there, when you're not in a war zone."

"Bones, you don't know that. You don't know if they'll go away. They started before we left."

"I know that, Booth."

"I'm just trying to help."

"I just need you to do what you promised, Booth. I need you to follow through on that, and I'll follow through on mine."

"I don't break my promises, Temperance. Especially to you."

"I know," she swallowed. "Just promise me one more time. Promise me that you won't be you, that you'll be safe."

"I promise, Bones," Booth said tenderly. "I promise you that and so much more."

"Okay," she breathed. "Okay."

"I love you, Bones. You now that, right?"

Her heart skipped a beat. A jolt of happiness spread across her body. The panic from earlier easily replaced by three little words. I love you. It was that simple. That was all he had to say and she felt better. She felt safe. She felt protected. She felt alive.

She didn't hesitate before responding, before declaring her own love to him.

She knew what the truth was now. She knew that her life was tied to his.

She knew that he was the one she didn't want to let go. The one that she didn't want to lose.

The one for the rest of her life.

* * *

**Still enjoying this one? If you have a second, I'd love to hear from you.**


	15. Chapter 14: Day 265

_**The Promise**_

**AN: ** So, I updated this a little bit faster, which makes me happy. Again, I have to thank all of you who reviewed for your wonderful support. I cannot thank you enough. Seriously. You guys made this chapter happen.

Hope you enjoy…and just thank you again. All of your support has been so amazing and helpful. We've only got a couple chapters left.

* * *

**Chapter 14: Day 265**

She had 100 days left. 100 days left in Maluku. 100 days left until she would be on a plane and on her way home to Booth and to D.C., where their relationship could become more than just a phone conversation and the occasional reminder of love. But there was also a part of her that didn't mind the distance. There was a part of her that found safety in the distance. It sounded backwards. She knew it did. And she quickly reminded herself that there was nothing safe about Booth being in Afghanistan. But it didn't make the feeling go away. It didn't make her not seek solace in the safety of the distance during the darkness of the night, when fears that festered inside of her mind came to life. Because the distance allowed their relationship to remain superficial. Yes, she had admitted to Booth that she loved him, but they hadn't consummated the relationship. They hadn't acted at any level on those feelings. She was still safe. Still protected by a thin wall that surrounded her. It was the last of the walls that she had constructed. And she knew that all it would take was one look from him or one touch, and that wall would come crumbling down. Her last layer of protection, of safety, would vanish and she would be left exposed and vulnerable. He would have all of her. Seeds of fear radiated throughout her body. He would have all of her. There was no denying it, and she wasn't even sure that she wanted to. She was just scared as hell of that moment.

She turned in bed. She had already had her nightly conversation with Booth. It had ended hours earlier on pleasant terms. There was no reason why she should be awake right now, especially when the day she was so worried about was 100 days away. But her mind wouldn't stop. The thoughts spun round and round, and she was quickly growing tired of it. She wanted to sleep. This day was months away. She had time. They had time. This was no time to worry about a day that shouldn't even be on her radar at this point in her life.

She flung the thin sheet off of her and crawled out of bed in annoyance. She had endured too many sleepless nights already, and this time nothing was wrong presently. She and Booth were happy. They conversations were light and comfortable. Work was going well. Everything was fine. And yet tonight, she was unable to find sleep. All because her calendar had remaindered her that in 100 days she would be on her way home to Booth.

She slipped into her desk chair and opened her computer. Her "For Booth" word document immediately popped up on the screen. She hadn't written in it in days, yet she had left it open. Her fingers fell onto the keys of her laptop and began typing easily.

_It's been days since I've written in this document. Days since I've felt the need to. Mostly that's because everything has been going well between Booth and I. We talk and everything seems normal. I don't feel as if we are disconnected or growing apart. I feel like we are in the same room talking even though I know we're not. Everything is comfortable and at ease. So, I'm struggling to figure out why tonight I am unable to fall asleep. _

_It's currently 2:45am here and I am restless. My mind won't stop spinning. The thoughts just seem to keep coming. Most of them are fears resurfacing after days of being submerged within. And some of them are fresh, new fears that arrived after my computer reminded me that I was 100 days away from being on a plane and going home to Booth. I know that my new fears, the fears that are more than likely keeping me up tonight, surround that moment when I see Booth again after a year and after I've admitted my love for him. I'm not ashamed of my admission of love. I no longer fear what it means. Booth has managed to calm most of those fears through his own confessions and constant reminders of his love of me. I believe my fear now rests in the fact that once we see each other again, our relationship will have already changed. We are no longer just partners and friends. We are in love. And I know what comes with love. I do not fear intimacy with Booth. I fear how it will change us. I fear getting so lost in him or in us, that I lose myself. I fear getting hurt by him, even in the slightest of ways. _

_He is the only man that I have ever trusted since my family left me. I don't want the latest change in our relationship to destroy that. I don't want to destroy what we already have. But I want more with him. I want all of him. So, I must be willing to risk it all. _

_I'm gambling on him. On me. And on us. I just hope my beginner's luck is still alive._

Her fingers stopped suddenly on the keys. The cursor blinked steadily on the document in front of her. She didn't let her eyes wonder upwards to read what she had written. She still had not read a single word that she had typed into this document and she didn't think she ever would.

Without a second thought she closed her laptop, hoping that her latest purge would allow her to find sleep. She crept back into bed, pulling the thin sheet back over her. Her head found her pillow and within seconds she was asleep.

XXXXXXX

There was a ringing. A constant, loud ringing in her mind. Her eyes popped open. The ringing was gone. She turned her head, her gaze glancing at the clock beside her. 4:25am. She groaned and rolled back over in bed, hoping that sleep would find her again. But the ringing started again. It took her until the second ring to realize that it was her cell phone. She flipped back over in bed and grabbed her phone, opening it hurriedly.

"Booth?" She answered. Her feelings of panic fell into the undertones of her voice.

"Bones," Booth sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"Yes, you did. You knew I would be sleeping." She pushed herself upwards in bed until she was leaning against the headboard. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. I'm sorry for waking you."

Brennan frowned. "You're lying to me."

"What?"

"You called me in the middle of the night, Booth. It's not nothing, so I can only logically assume that you're lying to me."

"Bones…"

"Just tell me what's bothering you, Booth," Brennan reasoned. "Maybe I can help."

There was a moment of silence before he spoke. "I can't sleep."

Brennan didn't respond. She merely waited for him to continue.

"I can't stop thinking about how this is going to change things," Booth explained. "I can't stop thinking about how I'm going to be able to touch you when I see you again. How I'm going to be able to kiss you. I can't stop thinking about where I'm going to take you for our first date, and how many ways I'm going to continue to prove to you that I love you and that you can trust me. That I'm not going to leave you. I just can't stop thinking about that moment that I finally see you again and the ones that will follow."

Her heart fluttered. Warmth spread all over her body. A light laugh erupted from inside of her, bubbling out through her lips softly. "Booth…"

"You're laughing at me."

Her laughter stopped instantly. "I'm not, Booth. I promise you that I'm not."

"Then, why are you laughing?"

"Because a few hours ago, I couldn't sleep either," she explained. "I was too busy thinking about you, about how we were 100 days away from seeing each other again. I couldn't stop my own fears from overtaking my mind."

"Fears?"

"There's safety in distance, Booth. There's a safety in us not consummating this relationship – "

"Are you saying that you don't want this?" Booth interrupted.

"No," she said quickly. "That's not what I'm saying. What I'm trying to tell you is that I fear that moment because I know that it will change us. I know that there will be no going back. I fear that moment because I don't want to lose you."

"Bones…"

"I know it's not ideal. I know that I shouldn't be afraid of it because I know you love me. But I can't help the fear from creeping inside of me. I can't lose you, Booth. I can't. And what if I'm not enough? What if I do something to push you away? What if – "

"Temperance, stop."

"What if – "

"No," Booth snapped. "I don't want to hear it. Nothing will ever change how I feel about you. I love you, Bones. My love for you has no constraints. It never will."

"Booth, it's ludicrous to think that – "

"Stop," Booth barked. "Stop judging. Stop thinking about everything. Let your heart have this one. Let it take control."

"It's not that simple, Booth. I haven't done this before. At least not with a man. I've loved family. I've loved friends. But I've never allowed myself to love a man. The moment the distance closes between us, the moment the safety of the distance is gone, this all becomes real, and it makes me feel vulnerable. What if I hurt you?" She swallowed hard and then added softly. "What if you hurt me?"

"I will never intentionally hurt you, Bones," Booth reminded her gently. "I will tell you that every day until you believe me. And you don't know how honored I feel to be the man that gets to love you and be loved by you. You are the one that I want to come home to at night. Not some other woman. You and everything that you are. No one else."

"Booth…"

"Don't fear that moment when the distance closes between us. Don't fear how this will change us. Because I don't think it will. Yes, we'll have a different title. Yes, we'll share a bed. But I've felt this way about you for so long that I think the big change already happened. We shifted into more than just partners long ago. We're just finally allowing ourselves to admit it now."

"You're right."

"What's that?" Booth asked lightly.

"I said, you're right."

Booth released a small laugh.

Brennan frowned. "What's so funny?"

"I just like hearing you say that I'm right," Booth breathed.

"Booth," Brennan groaned.

"It's going to be okay, Bones. I know things are changing. I know there will be an adjustment period." Booth paused for a second before continuing. "But I still can't wait for that moment when I get to see you again. I still can't wait for the moment when I finally get to hold you in my arms."

Brennan couldn't stop the blush that spread across her face. She wasn't a sexually inhibited woman. Sex was natural. It was part of our biological needs as humans. And she was open about her sexuality. She didn't hold back. That's why she couldn't explain why her skin was currently flushed. It didn't make sense. She wasn't that woman. She wasn't afraid in bed. She said what she wanted and when she wanted it. It was the way she had always been.

"Bones?"

His voice sounded sultry and deep. Her mind immediately imagined her lying beside him in bed after a night of lovemaking. She swallowed, hard. "Yes?"

"You alright over there?"

It was Booth, she concluded. It had to be Booth. He was doing this to her. Arousing her with his voice and his words. Warmth spread over her body.

She cleared her throat. "I'm fine."

"Bones…"

"I don't know if I can wait 100 days," she admitted tensely. "I don't know if I can not –"

"I know," Booth interrupted. "I know it's going to be hard. But all we've got is 100 days, Bones. We can do this. And I promise you," he added in a low voice, "I'll make it worth your wait."

"Booth…" she groaned.

"And you know that I don't break my promises," he added.

She suddenly found it difficult to breathe. And all of a sudden she wasn't worried about the distance between them closing. She wasn't worried about what happened when her last layer of safety disappeared when they finally saw each other again.

Instead, she found herself incredibly aroused and waiting for that moment when she saw him again, when his arms wrapped around her and held her firmly against his rock hard body.

She closed her eyes. Fear wasn't her problem now. It was her imagination.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed. If you have a second, I'd love to hear from you...**


	16. Chapter 15: The Ride Home

_**The Promise**_

**AN: ** I'm apologizing again. Because I disappeared… and I know that sucks. Just let me say that things have been crazy in my life, but I got this done. I got this done and the epilogue because this is technically the last chapter, which is crazy to say. Anyway, apologies times a million and more for this taking so long… I hope it's worth the wait.

Also, big, big thank you to those of you who review. This would not have gotten written if it weren't for my tremendous feeling of guilt for leaving all of my reviewers hanging. You all are amazing. Thank you again and again.

* * *

**Chapter 15: The Ride Home**

365 days had passed.

365 days of introspection.

365 days of dealing with emotions that she had pushed aside for years.

365 days of loneliness.

365 days without Booth.

365 days had come and gone, and now she was finally on her way home. She was finally on her way back to Booth.

And back to reality.

The distance between them was now gradually beginning to close. In less than 12 hours she would see him again. She would be able to touch him. To kiss him. To breathe him in. To hold him. Her body itched with excitement. Their moment had finally arrived.

XXXXXXX

The first class cabin of the airplane was quiet, which meant that Daisy had finally fallen asleep. Brennan shuffled in her chair gently, hoping that her movement would not awaken Daisy. Yes, it had been her unfortunate pleasure to be seated next to Daisy on their entire trip back to D.C. It wasn't that she didn't like Daisy; in fact they had grown moderately closer since they had arrived in Maluku. It was that she needed time, and so far, Daisy had not stopped talking since they had taken their seats on the airplane. She had tried to inform Daisy nicely that she was not in the mood to communicate, but Daisy wouldn't stop. But now there was silence. And she could finally have time she needed to think, to compose herself. The time she needed to get ready for what was coming at the end of this flight. Booth. Their reunion. The beginning of their romantic relationship. Her future.

Her future waited for her back in D.C. Her family. Her life. Maluku had given her time. It had given her the ability to think, to create the distance between herself and Booth that she thought that she had desperately needed. Except now she realized that she didn't need it. She just needed to know that it was okay to open up again. To know that she wouldn't lose everything if she opened her heart to him. She needed to learn to let her heart win a couple rounds every now and again. And she had. 95% of her was ready. But there was another 5% of her that felt like she was falling through the sky without a parachute. She only hoped that Booth would be there to catch her.

XXXXXXX

Six hours had passed. She was halfway there. Halfway home. Excitement and anxiety pulsated throughout her body, and she didn't know which was winning, though if she had to bet, she'd say it was the anxiety at this moment.

Her fingers drummed steadily on the armrest. She tried to focus on the movie that was currently being played, but she didn't care. None of this mattered. The only thing that mattered was back in D.C., waiting for her.

She took a deep breath. Anxiety was definitely winning.

"Dr. Brennan?" Daisy said beside her.

Brennan sighed. "What is it, Daisy?"

"Are you alright?" Daisy asked. "You seem… nervous or something."

"I'm fine," Brennan said shortly.

"It's just I know that when I get nervous, I talk a lot. Is there something that you do when you're nervous?"

"You must be nervous all the time," Brennan said under her breath.

"What?"

"Nothing." Brennan shook her head. "Daisy, I'm fine, really. Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine."

"Are you excited to see Agent Booth again?"

Brennan tensed. She did not want to talk about Booth.

"I'm nervous to see my Lancelot again," Daisy admitted quietly. "I don't think he'll admit it but something has changed between us. I can tell. It's in his voice. It's like he remembered what it was like to be a bachelor while I was gone."

Brennan closed her eyes. This is not what she wanted to be talking about. She didn't want to talk about relationships and people back home that were waiting for them. Not right now. Not when her anxiety seemed to have reached an all-time high. But there was something about Daisy's own anxiety, her own fears, which got to Brennan. The sympathetic side of her felt for her because everything had changed.

So, she took a page out of Booth's book. She lightly reached out with her hand and patted Daisy softly on her hand. "A year can change a lot."

"I can't believe it's been that long since I've seen him. It's been a blur. Hasn't it?"

365 days. She hadn't seen Booth in 365 days. That was hard to believe. Especially when there was a time that she didn't think she could go a day without him. The funny thing was that she had left to create the distance. She had left to run away. To avoid the truth. To hide. And now, she knew for a fact that she never wanted to go a day without him again. She knew it was unrealistic. She knew that they were both two independent people with their own desires, their own dreams, their own hobbies. But there was still this part of her that wanted nothing but him.

It felt strange. It felt like she was compromising who she is. But somewhere along the way, along this torturous, but needed year, she realized that it wasn't that she was compromising who she is; it was that she was changing. She was evolving just like species did to survive. She needed Booth to survive. She only hoped that he needed her as much as she needed him.

"Dr. Brennan?"

Daisy's voice startled Brennan. She turned and glanced at Daisy beside her and then spoke. "This year has been a blur."

"Do you think we've changed?" Daisy asked.

"I've been told by several people that I have changed."

"I was one of them." Daisy glanced at Brennan. "Have I changed?"

"I didn't know you that well, Daisy. I don't think I can be a judge of whether or not you've changed since we arrived in Maluku."

"Oh." Daisy's voice trailed off. Disappointment laced inside of it.

Brennan looked at Daisy, acknowledging Daisy's disappointment in her response. "If you have changed it has been for the better, Daisy."

"Are you sure?"

"I once thought that I couldn't change," Brennan admitted. "I thought that I was incapable of change. This trip allowed me to discover that I am capable of change. It gave me the ability to want things that I didn't think I could want because of who I am. This trip changed me for the better. I'd like to think that it's changed all of us for the better."

Daisy smiled widely at Brennan. "I like the way you think, Dr. Brennan."

Brennan turned away from Daisy. She closed her eyes. Change. It had been the theme of this year. It had helped her become who she wanted to be. But one thing she had never thought about was if Booth had changed. Or did he change as well? Did he have a new tally for the number of murders he had to solve?

Did he lose himself out there? Or was he still the same man as he was when she left him?

XXXXXXX

She looked at her watch for the tenth time in 5 minutes. She only had an hour left. An hour until she would see Booth. An hour until their yearlong wait was over. It was almost too good to be true. She had been waiting for this day for months. She had been waiting to tell him, face to face, that she loved him, that she couldn't leave without him, that she wanted to be with him for 30, 40 or maybe even 50 years if they were lucky. She wanted to go out with him. To dine with him. To enjoy his company. To know what it was like to touch him and have it lead somewhere. She wanted to know what it was like to kiss him. To run her hands through his hair and pull him towards her.

She wanted him. It was that simple. And the hour that she still had to wait until she saw him was breaking her. The anxiety had vanished, and now all she had was excitement. And desire.

She needed this flight to be over. Now.

XXXXXXX

The wheels of the plane touched down at Dulles International Airport. Her heart skipped a beat. The flight attendants welcomed the plane to D.C., and that's when all her air left her. This was it. The moment she had been waiting for. All she had to do was find her luggage and grab a taxi, and then she'd see him. She'd find him at their coffee place, and then they would begin.

As the plane taxied to the gate, she began to take long, deep breaths. The anxiety was still gone. It had vanished without a trace somewhere in between the 3rd and 4th hour. It was the desire that was getting the better of her now. The desire and the excitement.

She was too impatient. She wanted Booth now. She didn't want to wait. Not anymore. She was done waiting. A year had been long enough.

XXXXXXX

The main hatch to the plane opened. She stood from her seat, ignoring Daisy beside her. She had somewhere to be. 365 days had come and gone.

It was finally time.

* * *

**There it is. The last chapter. There is an epilogue coming. If you have a second, I'd love to hear from you…**


	17. Epilogue: The Reunion

_**The Promise**_

**AN: ** Okay guys… here it is, the final chapter. I want to thank all of you for reading… and for giving this story a chance. I'm so glad you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Thank you for all of the encouragement…. And thank you for everything.

With all of that said, here is the final chapter of The Promise. Oh, and be sure to read my note at the end.

* * *

**Epilogue: The Reunion**

She moved quickly through the airport. Weaving in and out of the slower and random walkers that surrounded her. It was time. In a few minutes she was going to see Booth. Her feet carried her with no regard for how sore or tired she was. She had somewhere to be. The illogical side of her wanted to leave her luggage and run for the door, but the rational side of her knew that she needed to grab it now or else she never would.

When she finally arrived at the baggage claim area, an empty carousel greeted her. She stood unevenly in front of it, waiting. Her foot tapped impatiently on the floor. Time was ticking, and she wasn't moving. Minutes later, after some of her fellow passengers had arrived as well, the carousel began to move. She moved to wear the bags were coming from and waited. One, two, three bags came out. None of them were hers. Another three came out before hers finally appeared on the carousel. She yanked it off of the carousel and started moving.

It was only when she was nearing the exit that she realized that two men had been following her. Her feet slowed and she swirled around, dropping her bags as she raised her hands in defense.

"Dr. Temperance Brennan?" One of the men asked.

Brennan's back stiffened. "What do you want?"

"I need you to come with us," the same man said.

Brennan planted her feet, preparing to fight. "Why?"

"Someone has demanded that we question you."

"Care to elaborate?" Brennan asked. Her voice was cool and detached.

The man that had been speaking to her began to approach her. "Dr. Brennan, I have orders to bring you in for questioning."

Brennan folded her arms across her chest. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice," the same man said as he and the other man began to close in on her.

She thought about fighting back, about defending herself, but something stopped her. She had been in this situation before. She sighed heavily. Booth. It was always Booth.

"Where is Agent Booth?" She asked as the men approached her.

The men looked at each other, but neither responded.

She put one of her hands out, indicating to them to stop. "Tell me where Agent Booth is or I'm not going to come quietly."

The men stopped in front of her, but didn't say a word.

It was then that she saw him. His hair was back to normal. His army fatigues had been traded back in for his suit and tie, along with his cocky belt buckle. Her chest clenched. It was him. Booth was here. She was seeing him. She was watching him walk towards her.

Her heart began to pound. Her head began to spin. The annoying passengers that surrounded her disappeared. She only had eyes for him. For Booth. For the man that seemed to know how to get to her. For the man that she loved.

Eventually she remembered that she could move as well. Her unsteady feet began to take steps forward, leaving her bags behind with the two men that let her pass willingly.

The distance between them was closing inch by inch. Her heart continued to pound. Her feet began to pick up the pace until she was running. And then he was running as well until they collided into each other. The distance between them had finally closed fully.

His arms wrapped tightly around her frame, pulling her against him fully. He breathed into her hair. "Bones…"

"Booth." She breathed into his chest. Her heart still pounded inside of her. "I missed you."

Booth's hands wandered her body, feeling all the places he could feel in public. "I missed you too."

"Booth…"

"I know, Bones," Booth said. He pulled back slowly, allowing himself to see her fully in front of him. A small smile spread across his face as he saw what she was wearing. "Did you wear this for me?"

"What?" She asked innocently.

"The outfit, Bones. You know it's one of my favorites."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Booth," Brennan smiled. She looked at him slowly, taking him all in. Loving the fact that she was back in his presence. That he was in front of her. That she could reach out her hand and touch him. "Booth…"

"Tell me, Bones," Booth pleaded.

She looked down at her feet, embarrassment spreading across her face. Two of Booth's fingers found her chin and forced it upwards.

"Tell me," he repeated.

Her eyes found his. She reminded herself that he was her parachute, and that this… this was the moment that she had been waiting for.

"I love you, Booth," she said softly. She took a deep breath. "I love you."

He crushed her against him then, holding her close. "I love you too, Bones," he said tenderly. "More than you'll ever know."

Her hand wandered up his body until her palm was cupping his cheek. It took less than a second before Booth pressed his lips against hers, drinking her in. Their tongues dueled, and their hands wandered over each other's bodies. Everything felt right.

Everything was what it should be.

They had made it through the year, and now they were here. Together. Where their future could begin and promises could be kept.

They were home.

* * *

**There it is. The end. I hope you enjoyed it. In all of this, I have had several requests for a sequel. I'm kind of in the land of in between. I don't know if I should write it or not. **

**So please, if you have an opinion… if you'd like a sequel… let me know. **

**And, you know, again… thank you for reading. **


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